Dave. 🇬🇧 - profile image
Dave. 🇬🇧
@DurleyDave
Love my family, love Southampton Football Club and love life. Quite partial to a G&T, too.
Followers: 59
Following: 713
Total tweets sent: 2219
Member since: Fri 02 Oct 2015


Dave. 🇬🇧 Latest Tweets

@VirgilvDijk Fucking sad sack dippers on here. πŸ™„
Sat 21 Oct 07:44
2017
@asburkett7584 @piersmorgan What has that got to do with guns, dickhead?
Fri 20 Oct 14:48
2017
@edgette22 @kfc That's bordering on the genius.
Fri 20 Oct 10:45
2017
@damienstjohn Boogie Nights?
Fri 20 Oct 10:42
2017
@Cobratate Fuck. You've been kicked in the head one too many times.
Thu 19 Oct 23:23
2017
@mundy3 @SkySportsPL Can't beat a bit of squeaky cheese, Nath. πŸ§€
Thu 19 Oct 23:16
2017
@mundy3 @SkySportsPL What type of cheese?
Thu 19 Oct 23:00
2017
@GaryLineker @rickygervais Saw #Humanity in Southampton. As you say, outrageously funny. Ricky is a man at the top of his game.
Thu 19 Oct 22:54
2017
@millar421 @ScotNational @WingsScotland @kmckenna63 Lacks a salad drawer in his fridge as well, by the look of it.
Thu 19 Oct 08:38
2017
@alexanderpeden2 @gordy_smithy @glasgowcathcart They should have got him a box to stand on. #shortarse
Wed 18 Oct 19:17
2017
@TVsNeilBarnes @Baddiel @sportsballpol Still more use than a @KTHopkins
Wed 18 Oct 13:40
2017
@solentsport My reaction: πŸ˜‚
Tue 17 Oct 22:02
2017
@JeaneF1MSP @RuthDavidsonMSP So she's raising money for a Cancer Charity while you jolly it up Spain? And she's the bad one? πŸ€”
Tue 17 Oct 20:26
2017
@MattDavey18 @solentsport Exactly what I was thinking! πŸ˜‚
Tue 17 Oct 20:16
2017
@GiveBloodNHS I love getting these text messages. Makes it worthwhile. https://t.co/0HITkwFZXv
Tue 17 Oct 15:56
2017
@MrJamesMay Yay, speccies rule! 😎
Tue 17 Oct 12:06
2017
@mrmarksteel You'll love 'tub girl' then. πŸ˜‚
Tue 17 Oct 12:01
2017
@BBCSport These comments. πŸ˜‚
Tue 17 Oct 11:27
2017
@KatieSogorski @rachmillington @bushontheradio I hope you've ditched all his Tommee Tippee cups. He should be using 'big boy cups' by now.
Tue 17 Oct 07:12
2017
@BBCSport Good Daily Mail sad face. Twat.
Tue 17 Oct 06:53
2017
@jupitusphillip You guys were fantastic on Buzzcocks. Such a shame about his passing.
Mon 16 Oct 20:40
2017
@OC Don't forget your inoculation when you leave.
Mon 16 Oct 13:44
2017
@Awaydays23 @SouthamptonFC @footieonthisday @theuglyinside I'm in there somewhere. Nice weather couple of days befo… https://t.co/msOpx1sDLw
Mon 16 Oct 12:47
2017
@robbeckettcomic Rowley Birkin QC, The Early Years.
Mon 16 Oct 11:24
2017
@theawayfans Not played yet.
Sun 15 Oct 13:42
2017
@JodieMarsh Dave is a great name for a kitten. πŸ‘
Sun 15 Oct 12:56
2017
@tonyblackburn And harder to kidnap.
Sun 15 Oct 08:40
2017
@DExpress_Sport @charlielnf Let this happen.
Sun 15 Oct 08:34
2017
@TheDIYcrafts @TheFunnyWorId And we're supposed to drink this shite?
Sat 14 Oct 22:03
2017
@MiloYiannopfans Dangerous faggot? Dangerous fucking idiot, more like.
Sat 14 Oct 21:33
2017
@RobertLindsay Death suits you. You're looking well on it. πŸ‘
Sat 14 Oct 19:29
2017
@Mike7167 I'd be happy with that.
Sat 14 Oct 19:23
2017
@jimshelley17 She's been replaced by an AI robot.
Sat 14 Oct 18:19
2017
@MrREDKNOBB @NarcissistOwl @merseyrat @HesAProperCunt That's a slapper and a half on the right. πŸ˜•
Sat 14 Oct 18:16
2017
@bushontheradio hi Bush, I'm cooking steak and chips for my wife Louise and boys Jack and Ollie. I don't do cooking!
Sat 14 Oct 18:15
2017
@GaryLineker Should be the last game.
Sat 14 Oct 17:22
2017
@Chrisberry7 @GNev2 @SkySports Sky always wank themselves into a froth over this game. It's shite 9/10 times.
Sat 14 Oct 17:19
2017
@RedBullUK Loved the little salute and step into the unknown.
Sat 14 Oct 14:08
2017
@PaddyMcGuinness Sugar rush to keep you awake?
Sat 14 Oct 14:04
2017
@SkySportsPL You do realise that people outside of Merseyside or Surrey don't give a shit, don't you?
Fri 13 Oct 20:42
2017
@SkySportsNews Poor Lewis. 😟
Fri 13 Oct 19:42
2017
@bulldog_evo @domjoly I have. Great book.
Fri 13 Oct 19:14
2017
@partydoco @dannykellywords I have absolutely no intention of watching the films. Or reading the books, either.
Fri 13 Oct 15:22
2017
@PaddyMcGuinness Sweet Jebus, did the lid fall off the pepper pot? 😲
Fri 13 Oct 09:21
2017
@iannaidu @piersmorgan Haha, thanks Ian. πŸ˜‚
Fri 13 Oct 09:18
2017
@Halcruttenden American intellectuals - that's a niche market you're aiming for Hal!
Fri 13 Oct 09:18
2017
@iannaidu @piersmorgan @bdunkelman Let's agree to disagree then. πŸ‘
Fri 13 Oct 09:04
2017
@almurray Use a proper phone then, Al!
Fri 13 Oct 09:03
2017
@SuzeGBrown Do it. You get free tea and biscuits! πŸ˜‚
Fri 13 Oct 08:57
2017
@iannaidu @piersmorgan @bdunkelman Sarcasm doesn't come across on twitter very well. Oh well.
Fri 13 Oct 08:49
2017
@ashIeyIynn @EarthBeauties @EarthBeauties stop retweeting this shite.
Fri 13 Oct 06:44
2017
@piersmorgan Love the way these twats take a photo of you & upload it without your consent and YOU'RE still in the wrong! πŸ˜‚
Fri 13 Oct 06:39
2017
@iannaidu @piersmorgan @bdunkelman Wow, what a fantastic come back from her. πŸ‘πŸ™„
Fri 13 Oct 06:28
2017
@iannaidu @piersmorgan He really didn't.
Thu 12 Oct 22:43
2017
@ChrisDemarais @piersmorgan @bdunkelman Go somewhere more upmarket next time, Piers. Then you won't have to put up… https://t.co/KF4C8eguwI
Thu 12 Oct 22:40
2017
@Redknapp @electroneum If 'Arry's in, I'm out.
Thu 12 Oct 20:31
2017
@hermanziegerman @TopTopPundit @Redknapp @electroneum A face you could never tire of stamping on.
Thu 12 Oct 20:26
2017
@JasonManford @MrNickKnowles could build the stage, being a "chippie who sings".
Thu 12 Oct 14:00
2017
@RomeshRanga Litre of White Lightning in a multi-storey and chase your dreams, my friend.
Thu 12 Oct 06:47
2017
@TheRoyalButler Said with tongue firmly in cheek, Carson. πŸ˜‰
Thu 12 Oct 06:40
2017
@GTWaites @bbcapprentice @Lord_Sugar And still didn't get fired. #BallsOfSteel
Wed 11 Oct 22:12
2017
@mattletiss7 @SAINTSINFRANCE Treble Boom! Hat-trick!
Wed 11 Oct 20:50
2017
@thehistoryguy Remember watching it at Primary School.
Wed 11 Oct 19:59
2017
@Junkenstein72 @vicky_0 @GMB @piersmorgan @susannareid100 They all do it, not just the Tories. All as bad as each other.
Wed 11 Oct 13:31
2017
@BushandBees @TheRoyalButler The washing up! πŸ˜‰
Wed 11 Oct 11:33
2017
@Mike7167 Hopefully he'll get proper justice inside. πŸ‘Š
Wed 11 Oct 11:19
2017
@thepoobler @_GUE55WHO Thank fuck for that! πŸ–’
Wed 11 Oct 06:43
2017
@thepoobler @_GUE55WHO Shit...πŸ˜”
Tue 10 Oct 19:31
2017
@oddjobthe3rd @lilyallen I normally laugh at her 'singing'.
Tue 10 Oct 16:57
2017
@jimshelley17 England players when Wales fail to qualify. Again. https://t.co/4t8ucMgNcA
Tue 10 Oct 16:40
2017
Tue 10 Oct 12:26
2017
@JenniferPenrose @NHSBT @GiveBloodNHS I gave my 10th donation on Friday. Looking forward to receiving one of these. Well done, BTW. πŸ–’
Tue 10 Oct 10:28
2017
@BeingBoycie Hope they're using a zebra crossing.
Tue 10 Oct 10:25
2017
@MrGlennJones @Mike7167 πŸ˜‚
Tue 10 Oct 10:23
2017
@ayeworld @RealMattLucas Of course. Silly me.
Tue 10 Oct 09:56
2017
@sportbible @LadHumour I'm in shock. Chelsea have a youth system? 😲
Tue 10 Oct 09:06
2017
@Mike7167 Wow. Not all heroes wear capes.
Tue 10 Oct 08:59
2017
@RealMattLucas What's it about?
Tue 10 Oct 08:35
2017
@FootyAwayDayVid England players on hearing Wales had failed to qualify. Again. https://t.co/C3XQQJCYNb
Tue 10 Oct 08:09
2017
@_yungee @Classicbritcom @brianblessed Visions of him stood on a Cornish beach shouting "Hello New York".
Mon 9 Oct 16:03
2017
@Jo196940 @Classicbritcom @cleantethemiser @brianblessed No-one is as loud as Brian!
Mon 9 Oct 16:01
2017
@jimshelley17 Inside every brown woman is a pale ginger one trying to get out? πŸ€”
Mon 9 Oct 16:00
2017
@dgtwatter @jk_rowling I'm claiming Spunktrumpet, then.
Sun 8 Oct 21:41
2017
@KateRobbins @ClaudiaWinkle Better than Tess. She is so wooden.
Sun 8 Oct 20:21
2017
@StevePenk Hey Jude.
Sun 8 Oct 18:44
2017
@JulianAssange @EmmaKennedy @HillaryClinton Doesn't stop you being a slimy piece of shit though, does it?
Sun 8 Oct 15:29
2017
@absoluteradio 'I wanna be a dog' to I wanna be adored by the Stone Roses.
Sun 8 Oct 12:04
2017
@footballmemorys @SAINTSINFRANCE That overhead kick against Liverpool. 😍
Sun 8 Oct 08:48
2017
@punchdrunkpauly His eyes actually rolled to the back of his head!
Sun 8 Oct 08:10
2017
@damienstjohn Chateauneuf de arse?
Sat 7 Oct 23:58
2017
@fitemiIy @WorIdsWorsts Stop retweeting absolute shite.
Sat 7 Oct 22:07
2017
@sonofbelial @thereal_ba2bo @piersmorgan So does doing a jigsaw puzzle. You can't kill 50 odd people with a jigsaw.
Sat 7 Oct 21:17
2017
@thejeremylsmith @piersmorgan I've been to the States a couple of times and met some great, intelligent people. Yo… https://t.co/85RE35BNwE
Sat 7 Oct 21:15
2017
@JasonManford Warm your hands up first, though.
Sat 7 Oct 19:28
2017
@T_JCrocker @sidjamesplace @CarryOnJoan @Classicbritcom @SidJames1976 @carryonforever I don't think you can have on… https://t.co/S9EZSn0Whk
Sat 7 Oct 18:49
2017
@JodieMarsh Bob.
Sat 7 Oct 18:46
2017
@JasonManford No bum squeeze, no album purchase.
Sat 7 Oct 18:32
2017
@Ocean_Village1 Love my city. 😍
Sat 7 Oct 18:31
2017
@FrankieBridge Cooking dinner. Recording it and will watch it later with my boys, who love it.
Sat 7 Oct 18:25
2017
@carldemaio Are you pretending to be retarded, or does it come naturally?
Sat 7 Oct 18:10
2017
@Ocean_Village1 @PompeyBatala @iSouthampton Seen these guys at a few events in the summer. They're great. Not bad for a bunch of skates. πŸ˜‰
Sat 7 Oct 18:06
2017
@RyanBaldiFW @mattletiss7 @FB_WHISPERS Great article. Thanks Ryan. All #saintsfc and #England fans should read it.
Sat 7 Oct 12:24
2017
@leo_richardson @piersmorgan https://t.co/Fwlv8FpJLq
Sat 7 Oct 08:04
2017
@wave105radio True. Saw them supporting Jethro at the Mayflower years ago. They were both brilliant.
Fri 6 Oct 17:39
2017
@FoxNews What a twat.
Fri 6 Oct 17:38
2017
@StreetwearDaiIy @TheDIYideas Fugly.
Thu 5 Oct 21:50
2017
@mrjakehumphrey Only for the first couple of weeks.
Thu 5 Oct 21:43
2017
@BBCSport Just to make up the numbers. Won't get near the knockout stages.
Thu 5 Oct 21:20
2017
@piersmorgan @NRA Piers, you can't educate mince, mate. They're not interested in gun laws.
Thu 5 Oct 19:10
2017
@wave105radio There's a harvest every year. Not exactly narrowing it down much, are you? πŸ€”
Thu 5 Oct 19:03
2017
@Mike7167 Deluded Dippers are biting nicely, Mike. 🎣
Thu 5 Oct 17:42
2017
@BestTraveI @justinmoorhouse The Toblerone of the North.
Wed 4 Oct 20:34
2017
@BollocksWeather Good.
Wed 4 Oct 20:33
2017
@MetroUK Kunt.
Wed 4 Oct 11:23
2017
@Classic_picx πŸ˜‚
Wed 4 Oct 11:18
2017
@Kevin_Maguire @GMB @toryboypierce Has British politics ever been at a lower point?
Wed 4 Oct 06:44
2017
@BBCSport Oh God, all the #Dippers will be getting hardons thinking about VVD signing for them.
Tue 3 Oct 23:06
2017
@alex_crook What have I missed? πŸ€”
Tue 3 Oct 20:20
2017
@Mediaite @LarryOConnor Being shot by your own countryman is more infuriating than having concern shown to you by foreigners.
Tue 3 Oct 19:48
2017
@PinkkrushG No we don't.
Tue 3 Oct 06:49
2017
@England @StGeorgesPark Real Roy of the Rovers stuff. #saintsfc legend.
Mon 2 Oct 17:00
2017
@StinsonHunter @DailyMirror Cunts are useful. This piece of shit isn't.
Mon 2 Oct 16:33
2017
@arturstrom @Grove_digger @BBCSport It was Neil Lennon. He deserved it.
Sun 1 Oct 17:28
2017
@paulmfarrer @rickygervais @MarcAlmond https://t.co/3htsEMV3jY
Sun 1 Oct 08:47
2017
@alipal69 Yep, can't stand that song either.
Sun 1 Oct 08:43
2017
@RomeshRanga @talkSPORTWSB @premierleague @talkSPORT You can tell you're a comedian.
Sun 1 Oct 08:39
2017
@TheRoyalButler Looks like we now allow women to use public transport. Whatever next? Drive?
Sat 30 Sep 12:07
2017
@mattletiss7 @Midassports Never seen a chin with a belly button before!
Sat 30 Sep 11:55
2017
@MirrorFootball Dear @MirrorFootball , fuck off. Love, Southampton. X
Sat 30 Sep 11:50
2017
@piersmorgan And the greatest aircraft ever, The Spitfire. https://t.co/YGmcVuhKro
Fri 29 Sep 23:09
2017
@KevinBourke4 @piersmorgan πŸ‘ https://t.co/ROGrmS2Tam
Fri 29 Sep 23:04
2017
@RobBrydon It's Neil's Dad!
Fri 29 Sep 17:21
2017
@90sPlayers A celebration worthy of the goal.
Fri 29 Sep 17:10
2017
@simonday24 Jimmy Cricket's Big Band Sound of Metallica's greatest hits would be awesome.
Fri 29 Sep 17:09
2017
@DerekGriffiths She scared the shit out of me as a kid.
Fri 29 Sep 11:37
2017
@emmadentcoad @KensingtonCLP What a horrible person you are. Hope you lose your seat in the next election.
Thu 28 Sep 18:25
2017
@WelBeast @SAINTSINFRANCE And taps up other team's players.
Thu 28 Sep 07:57
2017
@bushontheradio If he says stripped to the waist, he means from the waist UP, Bush.
Thu 28 Sep 06:48
2017
@KathyBurke They'll have trouble nailing down his coffin lid, that's for sure.
Thu 28 Sep 06:46
2017
@Jamin2g Dumb and Dumber, The Sitcom?
Wed 27 Sep 22:03
2017
@chirpycockney @OwenJones84 Close enough. https://t.co/5Tm3dCTxOV
Wed 27 Sep 20:45
2017
@PaddyMcGuinness Close enough. https://t.co/dT9NeEAplL
Wed 27 Sep 20:07
2017
@MrHarryCole No kidding.
Wed 27 Sep 18:50
2017
@TheTVGrump @MrHarryCole Well played. πŸπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
Wed 27 Sep 18:50
2017
@JosephSurtees @richardosman A Kop.
Wed 27 Sep 18:41
2017
@MariaCopland1 @niknakpadiwakk @JamesBlunt Well played. https://t.co/AshoTC9biH
Tue 26 Sep 21:38
2017
@nchisman76 @SouthamptonFC @mattletiss7 That was my first trip to OT as well. Was a great day out.
Mon 25 Sep 20:33
2017
@richardosman He was great in The Grimleys.
Sun 24 Sep 17:25
2017
@RevRichardColes @pettore I now have an image of Jesus & his deciples sitting on the floor dancing to oops up side your head.
Sun 24 Sep 16:30
2017
@KateRobbins @RevRichardColes He was in Milli Vanilli.
Sat 23 Sep 22:12
2017
@Ginofantastico That's a great last photo. 🎸🎀
Sat 23 Sep 18:26
2017
@FullTimeDEVILS @theuglyinside Was a good game. Jose parked a fleet of buses at the end.
Sat 23 Sep 18:25
2017
@mikesanz19 He got an effing free kick for it as well. πŸ™„
Sat 23 Sep 18:22
2017
@matthicksonsfc Get up for a pee the accidently elbow him in the face as you walk by.
Sat 23 Sep 18:01
2017
@BenStanners @crstig A 1-0 thrashing is on the cards for someone!
Sat 23 Sep 17:51
2017
@chamberlinsport That'll be the little short arse, then.
Sat 23 Sep 13:41
2017
@BBCSport Gonna hear it at least once tomorrow, then.
Fri 22 Sep 20:50
2017
@VirgilvDijk @daRealAkinfenwa @rioferdy5 @EASPORTSFIFA @UNILAD Got to say, some of you #LFC #Dippers are pathetic.
Fri 22 Sep 20:24
2017
@DExpress_Sport Looks like @mickquinn1089 was kicked in the head by one of his starving horses. Utter fuck nugget.
Fri 22 Sep 18:51
2017
@AshR1878 @AngryBlackLady Could eat an apple through a letterbox.
Fri 22 Sep 17:02
2017
@bushontheradio @absoluteradio Please break the no repeat guarantee before 4 as it's POETS day and I'm leaving then. Cheers.
Fri 22 Sep 14:32
2017
@JusticeCraig @RiaKelsey @SouthamptonFC @mattletiss7 I was stood in the Archers. πŸ˜€
Fri 22 Sep 13:10
2017
@MessiTweets_ @mikesanz19 He could nutmeg Heather McCartney.
Wed 20 Sep 23:17
2017
@JonathanKrause You clearly never saw this monstrosity while it was up! https://t.co/8kq9RjmKd9
Wed 20 Sep 19:57
2017
@MysticaIMane @LFC @LFCTV Doubtful.
Wed 20 Sep 17:40
2017
@MysticaIMane @LFC @LFCTV VVD cancelled his subscription.
Wed 20 Sep 16:56
2017
@Holbornlolz Who the fuck is Owen Jones?
Wed 20 Sep 16:46
2017
@WiNgWaNgWoNg69 @SkySportsPL He didn't even bid for VVD.
Wed 20 Sep 06:39
2017
@rayterry @HesAProperCunt The correct reply being "that'll ding dang doo for me"
Mon 18 Sep 20:08
2017
@Mustafaaf4 @fizzer18 πŸ˜‚
Mon 18 Sep 13:46
2017
@bushontheradio How can you spend so much money and end up worse than last season? Takes some doing.
Sun 17 Sep 20:03
2017
@FrannyBenali That's a tackle you'd have been proud of, Franny! πŸ˜‚πŸ‘Š
Sun 17 Sep 19:24
2017
@PAKYDAVE_ What about bummers?
Sun 17 Sep 17:18
2017
@DExpress_Sport What a Thundercunt you are, Harry. 😠
Sun 17 Sep 02:50
2017
@Christophe_197x @GaryLineker That wasn't his fault. Owner was too rich & too generous . Never his fault.
Sat 16 Sep 20:04
2017
@AdamBlackmore Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke.
Sat 16 Sep 19:16
2017
@mrjakehumphrey @jjenas8 Scored a goal. #saintsfc #goalshy
Sat 16 Sep 19:12
2017
@geoghegan_john @piersmorgan Because he's a Grade A cunt stain that has no idea what he's doing.
Sat 16 Sep 00:30
2017
@dbuzz6589 @RevRichardColes I'm a straight, married father of two boys, and I'm a bit in love with him as well. Co… https://t.co/2U0pMOomcC
Sat 16 Sep 00:24
2017
@Stowford_Press Nice drop of grog, is Stowford. 🍺
Fri 15 Sep 17:59
2017
@dbuzz6589 @RevRichardColes Please tell me you will dance to a Communards song at some point!
Fri 15 Sep 12:43
2017
@Re4lJimi @mattletiss7 It won't be to the Dippers, then.
Thu 14 Sep 23:38
2017
@StevePenk We'll be doing that at St Mary's soon.
Thu 14 Sep 21:41
2017
@bluemcgooRFC @bet365 Awesome. πŸ˜‚
Thu 14 Sep 20:35
2017
@Defencebrief @MissKittenFilan @jimmycarr πŸ˜‚ https://t.co/mya8aLkveY
Thu 14 Sep 20:32
2017
@BBCRMsport @BBCMOTD https://t.co/pAZKB7sd70
Thu 14 Sep 19:02
2017
@piersmorgan You're British, Piers, so it's 'arsehole' not 'asshole' which is an Americanism.
Thu 14 Sep 16:53
2017
@xNearDark @marcrileydj @carrottofficial John Lennon said it first, I believe.
Thu 14 Sep 07:17
2017
@paddypower @saintbannerman Normal service has resumed, then.
Thu 14 Sep 07:16
2017
@bushontheradio Full of ugly looking weirdos? Bit harsh there, Bush.
Thu 14 Sep 06:52
2017
@Classicbritcom One of my favourites as a kid.
Wed 13 Sep 22:56
2017
@SaintsfcViews Some great replies. πŸ˜‚
Wed 13 Sep 20:56
2017
Wed 13 Sep 18:56
2017
@KTHopkins If she sees you slipping, she'd shag you? πŸ€”
Wed 13 Sep 16:55
2017
@MarcherLord1 I admit, I first read that as "Lion Steaks". πŸ™„
Wed 13 Sep 16:52
2017
@paulross Kill it with fire.
Wed 13 Sep 16:46
2017
@piersmorgan You put that last bit in to wind up @EmmaKennedy , didn't you? πŸ˜‚
Wed 13 Sep 13:22
2017
@Mike7167 Nice crisp white one. Show off your tan a bit. With black shorts.
Wed 13 Sep 06:52
2017
@aidanmccartney @TheNigelAdkins @SUFCOfficial He has to be one of the nicest blokes in football. #saintsfc legend.
Tue 12 Sep 20:50
2017