Joe - profile image
Joe
@JoeSalter89
yelling nonsense at all my robot advertising followers then crying myself to sleep. #SaintsFC hairdresser to the stars, tycoon, model, liar.
Followers: 310
Following: 219
Total tweets sent: 6559
Member since: Sun 11 Sep 2011


Joe Latest Tweets

There is a fire on Dudley Moore.
Fri 17 Aug 21:32
2018
Sea lions on his shirt! He's been to the marina! 50 years of perch, Never stopped me bream fishing.
Fri 17 Aug 18:37
2018
@Summers2theB @simgeo35 I can't imagine what a time travelling anus would have to 'confess'. It would have stories… https://t.co/bIAE51X7Ny
Fri 17 Aug 14:55
2018
@simgeo35 I don't mind Latin, per se, I just NEVER use it.
Fri 17 Aug 14:22
2018
The medieval, armed levied militia of Brittany. Otherwise known as the Brittany Spears.
Fri 17 Aug 13:52
2018
@simgeo35 I'd like to add ad hominem to that ban. But then I suppose all the Twitter political debates, from left a… https://t.co/E0Q67102Nc
Fri 17 Aug 13:46
2018
@simgeo35 Ironically he actually says, "you sink?" From his SINKING SHIP. BAH!
Fri 17 Aug 13:44
2018
I've pulled into the doctor's with a damaged fo'c'sle. AGAIN.
Fri 17 Aug 13:43
2018
@Muscleswhelan https://t.co/KCSwFujLh4 A @Morrisons radio classic.
Fri 17 Aug 11:31
2018
@SimonCWNotNZnow thanks for following & retweeting @CountonH Helen needs all the help she can get. Really appreciate that.
Wed 15 Aug 19:22
2018
Looks like the Jim Henson Workshop has released a new prototype into my car. https://t.co/z1JOnchNFH
Wed 15 Aug 19:21
2018
Follow my partner, Helen's, new business page, @CountonH if you'd be so kind. She's just started up as a hired hand… https://t.co/8lBKhdZKh8
Wed 15 Aug 19:05
2018
£3.00 I bloody love @FoodWarehouse https://t.co/3vOEVta6r2
Wed 15 Aug 17:44
2018
@simgeo35 I'd say you were more "lit".
Wed 15 Aug 08:19
2018
@simgeo35 @AXA I wonder what dark secrets he needs to hide from a life insurance provider. Apart from the suicide a… https://t.co/AlmRcDbWUH
Tue 14 Aug 17:28
2018
Tue 14 Aug 17:01
2018
Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall just said he was going to make a meat-free dish because the more meat we eat, the anima… https://t.co/o5zVYrzIkB
Tue 14 Aug 14:20
2018
I like how natural the conversation is on this advert. Me and my family often discuss the small print on our life i… https://t.co/mOs6xWrIc7
Tue 14 Aug 14:17
2018
@ChrisPen2530 This? https://t.co/PnNZ5uUQkm
Tue 14 Aug 10:32
2018
When did you last go to the dentist? Today. Today? Your teeth are horrendous. According to the radio, there is t… https://t.co/RmfZcwEC8n
Mon 13 Aug 19:52
2018
Welcome to #Swindon where people press their arses against walls and poo in the street... https://t.co/bhH8DmgKaV
Mon 13 Aug 17:31
2018
#vss365 Wearing a crusted anorak he'd found floating on a canal. Instant mashed potato stuffed in the pockets belon… https://t.co/GfuMYDK2T2
Mon 13 Aug 07:07
2018
@simgeo35 They don't use Tupperware. It's a form of protection.
Sun 12 Aug 20:36
2018
@simgeo35 A Spartan existence. Except she wasn't eating black soup made of vinegar and pig's blood, so it actually… https://t.co/ojnZRHo0D1
Sun 12 Aug 20:23
2018
The misses just said to me: "There was a nun on the train eating cold peas out of a Tupperware box, yesterday."
Sun 12 Aug 19:54
2018
#InsideTheFactory "I've always wondered, how do you get the egg... inside a scotch egg?" HAVE you?
Sun 12 Aug 19:48
2018
@SimonCWNotNZnow I may have made that one up.. On this show, everything looks like a giant something. "WOW! THAT… https://t.co/n6Rc0jRY0v
Sun 12 Aug 19:33
2018
@SimonCWNotNZnow Within a 3 minute period he said, wow, wooh, woohoo, amazing, woah, no way and Wet Michael.
Sun 12 Aug 19:28
2018
The amount of general noise Gregg Wallace makes on #InsideTheFactory is unbelievable. "What's in there?!" "That's… https://t.co/dN7DUUbLcJ
Sun 12 Aug 19:25
2018
@simgeo35 They're always dross. I was pointing more to the fact that everyone's probably thinking the same as your… https://t.co/y2ZuEbSoMt
Sun 12 Aug 16:07
2018
@simgeo35 I just said that exact thing to a friend, but used West Ham instead of Cardiff.
Sun 12 Aug 16:04
2018
@simgeo35 He's gone from an athletic build to an amphibian one. Maybe a toad.
Sun 12 Aug 15:55
2018
@simgeo35 They have Alan Brazil. His name even makes me think of a '70s sleaze. Even Geoff Hurst used the phrase "… https://t.co/3RbCFYaCYM
Sun 12 Aug 15:53
2018
@simgeo35 I prefer Phil. Both of them clearly know the game inside out and talk sense but I'd rather some character… https://t.co/U3s15mUUdt
Sun 12 Aug 15:50
2018
@simgeo35 They'll go the way of Crawley. SHH! GARY NEVILLE is talking on my telly. This will be informative, intel… https://t.co/xivkssors4
Sun 12 Aug 15:48
2018
@simgeo35 Sickening really. A player worth £80m as a reserve for every position. They really have bought the league… https://t.co/rvezGNKB55
Sun 12 Aug 15:42
2018
@ObscureThing77 I read that in an Alan partridge voice
Sun 12 Aug 12:19
2018
@simgeo35 I think Wyatt Earp is a code. It's not a name. One day it will be worked out. It's a conspiracy I tells ya.
Sun 12 Aug 12:18
2018
@simgeo35 Now now, what about opening a jar of marmite that's glued itself shut with its own contents.
Sun 12 Aug 12:15
2018
This 6ix9ine fella. Turns out that's not a nickname referring to sex but the ages of his last two girlfriends. #6ix9ine
Sun 12 Aug 11:04
2018
DAVINA HERE! YOU ARE LIVE ON TELLY! WHAT... IS YOUR FAVOURITE BAND? Phats and Small. OK STEP THIS WAY PLEA- what… https://t.co/jqjBbOzOSN
Sat 11 Aug 20:47
2018
@Summers2theB Maybe if we step back carefully they'll become untangled in the same.way they tangled.
Sat 11 Aug 17:16
2018
For someone who doesn't know anyone called Sue, I've heard "you know Sue had her op?" A remarkable amount of times in my life.
Sat 11 Aug 10:36
2018
10:16am, I am having a KFC. I hate what I've become.
Sat 11 Aug 10:16
2018
@hovisbakery I've been hoping you will one day release a Hovis "worst of both worlds" loaf. A loaf as dry as brown… https://t.co/RgdEH8lnmZ
Fri 10 Aug 20:48
2018
Am I the only one who, until just this moment, assumed United had signed the Fred In this picture? I was wondering… https://t.co/PTKPmpwchR
Fri 10 Aug 19:15
2018
@Muscleswhelan I like my Phil Colin's "No Jacket Required" memorabilia jacket. Just because I like to be ironic in how I dress.
Fri 10 Aug 18:55
2018
@Muscleswhelan I just wear sports casual when I go to th discotheque.
Fri 10 Aug 18:52
2018
@Muscleswhelan Are they selling cheap or something? Everywhere I go I see that exact t shirt multiple times.
Fri 10 Aug 18:49
2018
I'm not sure I want a candle to make my house smell "colon-y". https://t.co/noZ4OuKUQY
Fri 10 Aug 12:40
2018
What's happened? Why is everyone, male and female, wearing this exact t shirt? Even when I went to Lanzarote. https://t.co/cCZ6WgNtV3
Fri 10 Aug 12:33
2018
@john_17jackson It's on the cards
Thu 9 Aug 08:58
2018
@john_17jackson It has to! It's been on the cards for about ten years.
Thu 9 Aug 08:53
2018
@john_17jackson Sneijder!
Thu 9 Aug 08:52
2018
@john_17jackson What about Wes?
Thu 9 Aug 08:51
2018
I kid you not, I just sat down for a piss (let me off, it's Wednesday) and this flew out of my undergarments. https://t.co/PMvnpjv18U
Thu 9 Aug 01:09
2018
Remember at school when you could say anything because if anyone told you you "can't say that" you just said, "it's a free country"?
Thu 9 Aug 00:35
2018
A metaphor for growing older is Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. When I was a boy, the scene when they enter the f… https://t.co/LUhzXCTsJS
Wed 8 Aug 23:54
2018
@simgeo35 He keeps telling me that veal is a by-product of the milk industry but is treated humanely now. Apparentl… https://t.co/t8sbBIAJ2Y
Wed 8 Aug 19:06
2018
@simgeo35 H.F-W is just confused. One minute he's telling us to eat certain cuts of meat, then no meat, then to fis… https://t.co/VwWjXd907u
Wed 8 Aug 19:00
2018
@WillFoxGolf @banisteridol Dunno. Without him (or someone like him) it always seems like we have a defence of 6 and… https://t.co/8T2uf1x9TH
Wed 8 Aug 08:47
2018
@banisteridol I thought the same when we sold Jack Cork for peanuts. JWP is what we need, someone who's going to co… https://t.co/w1YauzXeZh
Wed 8 Aug 07:18
2018
@simgeo35 The Stenhousemuir you ignore me, the closer I get.
Tue 7 Aug 19:59
2018
#PutScotlandInAFilmOrSong tonight we're going to Partick like it's 1999.
Tue 7 Aug 19:40
2018
#PutScotlandInAFilmOrSong Sunshine on Leith. I've misunderstood this game. No you shut up.
Tue 7 Aug 19:38
2018
I've just tried to change my details on eBay and I THINK.. I THINK, I've accidentally bought a sea cow. #Manatee
Tue 7 Aug 17:18
2018
@Summers2theB @simgeo35 Judging by the little yellow and black jumpers they wear, I'd assume they were actually Anarcho-Capitalists.
Tue 7 Aug 09:24
2018
@simgeo35 I prefer fascists.
Tue 7 Aug 09:06
2018
@simgeo35 Syracuse! Alpha Gamma Beta! I get confused between the Sicilian, Doric city state and the American University.
Mon 6 Aug 18:38
2018
Anyone want to buy 3 tickets to #DownsFestival ? @NoelGallagher and @paulwellerHQ headlining. With @TheBasementJaxxhttps://t.co/wthSr3gDeg
Mon 6 Aug 12:57
2018
@Summers2theB @simgeo35 The majority of tortoise worship happens before the watershed. A small section of the torto… https://t.co/HgINiIo2yI
Mon 6 Aug 09:28
2018
This cheap shite Chinese-made vest for my lad from Amazon was originally meant to be a duck. The beak fell off part… https://t.co/5NclWK4euT
Sun 5 Aug 20:45
2018
DJ Rabbit. If his album isn't called MIXomatosis, I will call the police. https://t.co/8RzYpEQ9tm
Sun 5 Aug 17:28
2018
@Summers2theB It was my Moon Landing.
Sun 5 Aug 16:17
2018
There's something slightly ironic and annoying about the Community/Charity Shield being aired on a premium rate channel.
Sun 5 Aug 15:35
2018
Since having a son, I've said "Stop eating tissues!" far more than before I did.
Sun 5 Aug 12:43
2018
@SouthCoastRed I'm comforted that I'm not alone. People are supporting me. I wonder how I could change this into a Just Giving thing...
Sun 5 Aug 10:33
2018
@Summers2theB Nah, or I'd OBVIOUSLY have said "Blynasty".
Sun 5 Aug 10:14
2018
@john_17jackson I don't recognise any of the films. We're losers, John. Simple as that. https://t.co/83gZmIdOY0
Sun 5 Aug 10:05
2018
Blake Lively is trending. I looked her up, she has 1 million+ followers. Didn't recognise her. Wiki'd her, didn't r… https://t.co/GejL9dTWHv
Sun 5 Aug 09:57
2018
@Summers2theB Elton John - Philadelphia Freedom x6 As I was only permitted 5, the final one would be playing as I… https://t.co/xCmj48pz2h
Sat 4 Aug 19:39
2018
🎵Money's too tight to mention!🎵 Sorry Mr. Hucknall, I can't help you, this is a doctor's surgery. Perhaps if you-… https://t.co/zGqA9w7L97
Sat 4 Aug 13:02
2018
🎵Money's too tight to mention, I've haaaaaaaaad to settle for quartz worktops in my kitchen extension🎵
Sat 4 Aug 12:31
2018
@Mike7167 That's where I bow out and someone cleverer takes over.
Fri 3 Aug 18:05
2018
@Mike7167 Elyounoussi to the tune of Eleanor Rigby.
Fri 3 Aug 17:10
2018
@Poundland I've learnt my lesson. Thanks Poundland
Fri 3 Aug 12:51
2018
Went into Sainsbury's and stuck a club biscuit in a bottle of fruit Tropicana, downed it and walked out. The securi… https://t.co/0Ku8N2OZlH
Fri 3 Aug 11:29
2018
@Poundland Thanks Zoe. But I've done some terrible things in my life. TERRIBLE... things. I once called a donkey an… https://t.co/HSadVSHw2r
Fri 3 Aug 11:19
2018
@simgeo35 @Poundland So Clarkson was right! This changes my view on him. Maybe all those people who aren't like him ARE int he wrong.
Fri 3 Aug 10:46
2018
@simgeo35 @Poundland That's exactly how I usually utilise them. But the small packs are good to snack on be sure th… https://t.co/qv0gbNWVjP
Fri 3 Aug 10:44
2018
@simgeo35 @Poundland I was in the mood for corn-based cheesy triangles. It was like they were made for me.
Fri 3 Aug 10:39
2018
@Shaun_Dix George Ezra's lyrics are like they've been blurted out in the shower. Like when you make up a song as a child.
Fri 3 Aug 10:30
2018
#FirstWorldProblems I ventured into @Poundland Swindon for the 1st time in years & saw they had multi-packs of Dori… https://t.co/G8jxadJk0u
Fri 3 Aug 10:28
2018
Pierce Brosnan Bond films are excellent because he has futuristic, fantastical MI5 gadgets but Windows 95.
Thu 2 Aug 22:57
2018
James Martin just said he was going to do a no-nonsence dish. He nailed sardines to firewood then cooked them in an… https://t.co/aqJZfpNpbm
Thu 2 Aug 19:12
2018
Why have the Good Food Channel invested so much in Nigel Slater repeats? Granted, he's EFFORTLESSLY sexy but are hi… https://t.co/hB8XYFdqEt
Thu 2 Aug 18:53
2018
@Summers2theB @simgeo35 Are these photos of VHS's you have?
Wed 1 Aug 20:23
2018
@Summers2theB @simgeo35 Well if the weather should warrant a cumbrella, it's bound to be wet. I'd advise keeping it… https://t.co/TKHPwXMOcz
Wed 1 Aug 20:17
2018
@Coral Ali Dia
Wed 1 Aug 18:40
2018
@john_17jackson How is Obertan worse than Bebe, Taibi, Bosnic, Tosic, Prunier, Bellion, Kleberson & Schneiderlin?
Wed 1 Aug 18:40
2018
@Summers2theB @simgeo35 It pays to be fussy when it comes to bumming.
Wed 1 Aug 16:28
2018
@simgeo35 Yes but only the hip ones. You don't want to be copying square kids.
Wed 1 Aug 13:47
2018
@simgeo35 Get a sensible car and blast that one out (at a sensible level of course, there are built-up areas around… https://t.co/d6PB7nVytL
Wed 1 Aug 13:08
2018
@simgeo35 @Summers2theB I imagine the Thomas library has a grand bust of Ken Dodd in it.
Tue 31 Jul 22:19
2018
@simgeo35 @Summers2theB Purchased. I'm hoping Mad Jack Churchill, the guy who brought a bow and arrow to the trenches, is in there.
Tue 31 Jul 22:13
2018
@simgeo35 @Summers2theB Tell me the title of that book immediately.
Tue 31 Jul 22:09
2018
@Summers2theB @simgeo35 This is off topic but is the best thing I've ever read. https://t.co/9dtGB4euDV
Tue 31 Jul 21:59
2018
@Summers2theB @simgeo35 Actually it's these https://t.co/v4ddI0RMew
Tue 31 Jul 20:46
2018
@simgeo35 @Summers2theB No it's this lot https://t.co/Kgc3CyYzKy
Tue 31 Jul 19:32
2018
@simgeo35 Quite clearly, THIS is G7. https://t.co/OynUYynA7Z
Tue 31 Jul 18:17
2018
What's with all this useless advice people keep giving me? The misses pointing to the shower: "you just turn that… https://t.co/8CF8oI37vt
Mon 30 Jul 09:43
2018
St. Catherine's Island, off Tenby, Pembrokeshire, Wales. https://t.co/4dJGaq4izJ
Sun 29 Jul 20:23
2018
Casual as y'like. https://t.co/KtCGYqT4nw
Sun 29 Jul 10:58
2018
@SimonCWNotNZnow That explains all those Welshmen sat by the Severn, dipping their cocks in the water when we went over the bridge.
Sun 29 Jul 10:26
2018
If you look closely, that bucket says "Red Hot". What are the Welsh drinking?? #CardiffServices https://t.co/v6VvDz9Ldx
Sun 29 Jul 10:20
2018
@Summers2theB @Helenreade5 I didn't have him down as a transvestite serial killer but you've opened my eyes. Thank… https://t.co/W4ApGgRMDq
Sat 28 Jul 22:34
2018
@Summers2theB @Helenreade5 His slacks always look comfortable though. He's got that going for him.
Sat 28 Jul 22:29
2018
@Helenreade5 @Summers2theB Ed Gein*
Sat 28 Jul 22:28
2018
@Helenreade5 @Summers2theB Phil Spencer is not the Ed Vein of estate agents. He's a lovely, lovely man.
Sat 28 Jul 22:27
2018
@bergin_kirsty I've forgotten how to use boomerang, but it'll come back to me. I'm here all week.
Sat 28 Jul 21:47
2018
My favourite telly game shows: Get Your Cards Out, The Price of That, Lucky Strikes.
Sat 28 Jul 19:42
2018
@mantropik Mine are all dull. Mainly XFactor Christmas number ones cos my birthday is 4 days after Xmas. However, i… https://t.co/ztv1oAZ7tD
Sat 28 Jul 09:20
2018
What song is this? DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUHHHHH... Toto - Africa. Leave me alone...
Fri 27 Jul 23:20
2018
@Summers2theB All we need to remember is that Les is OKAY... he's OKAY. I heard an advert earlier and it was DEFINI… https://t.co/kNVzXaBcIR
Fri 27 Jul 22:52
2018
@Summers2theB It was a 6 month campaign of vicious cock shots to his work email.
Fri 27 Jul 22:46
2018
Bowie (Let's dance) LES DENNIS! Put on your tux, Fa-mi-ly Fortunes. LES DENNIS! Amanda Holden even took my radio.
Fri 27 Jul 20:57
2018
@MattyEarle Very kind'a ya, sir. 😊
Fri 27 Jul 17:17
2018
Sir Walter Cooler https://t.co/0nYgYwS1yT
Fri 27 Jul 15:08
2018
I'm confused. #Swindon https://t.co/StgKinYg6T
Fri 27 Jul 09:19
2018
I'd like to see Phil Spencer's house. Not because I'm interested in what kind of house a TV property expert would… https://t.co/TByK4N9fq1
Wed 25 Jul 17:57
2018
@simgeo35 https://t.co/foB3TnUwrx COMPELLING.
Wed 25 Jul 14:46
2018
Let me be the one That you turn to... Someone you can rely on, Closer each day... #Heatwaveuk
Wed 25 Jul 08:15
2018
LET ME BE THE ONE, THAT YOU TURN TO! Someone you CAN rely on.. Closer each day... #HomeandAway
Mon 23 Jul 21:43
2018
Next few weeks of my life sorted. Been long enough to watch this again. https://t.co/1ihJ6kjNB2
Mon 23 Jul 20:52
2018
@whelaninho I'm here all week.
Mon 23 Jul 12:36
2018
Egyptian-born Gigi Hadid has been described as "The Katie Price of the Middle East". Surely that's Jordan? https://t.co/ZHh7cLixeb
Mon 23 Jul 12:32
2018
American: "I can't place your accent, are you from Minnesota?" "No I from England." "No way! How quaint! Do you know Peter Beardsley?"
Mon 23 Jul 11:07
2018
@Summers2theB @simgeo35 This is EXACTLY the kind of sassiness that means people feel they have to exclude you from ABBA based musicals.
Sun 22 Jul 16:50
2018
@simgeo35 Abso-bloody-lutely!
Sun 22 Jul 15:57
2018
@simgeo35 I wouldn't miss that for the world. However, I may be washing my tits that night.
Sun 22 Jul 15:46
2018
Call me old-fashioned but I don't trust men who drink Prosecco. Something sinister about it.
Sun 22 Jul 12:24
2018
@TomEatW0rld Shit. That's deep.
Fri 20 Jul 21:02
2018
@TomEatW0rld The core of that band BETTER be you and Matt Jones.
Fri 20 Jul 20:35
2018
THAT'S CLUNES! THAT... is Clunes. https://t.co/wyoQZ07bfd
Fri 20 Jul 15:06
2018
@simgeo35 Or a pasta that's shaped like a dog muzzle.
Fri 20 Jul 12:43
2018
@simgeo35 That's because you're a better person than I. I'm a sausage fascist. Which is also my WWF wrestling name.
Fri 20 Jul 12:35
2018
@simgeo35 Even German sausage is a bit rough. You'd go a long way to find a better sausage than a good meaty one f… https://t.co/3QmtfMnvtx
Fri 20 Jul 12:30
2018
@SimonCWNotNZnow I'm.beginning to embrace Vegemite now. I think the key is to use it more sparingly than Marmite. T… https://t.co/yfLWu9ry7d
Fri 20 Jul 09:34
2018
I've worked out that the reason the Polish people I know think their sausages are better than English ones is becau… https://t.co/zg6I5IjzxH
Fri 20 Jul 09:26
2018
If I could describe myself in one word it would probably be burrower.
Thu 19 Jul 17:58
2018
People say Mark Hughes looks like Ailsa from Home & Away. That's not fair. he's more Judy Murray.
Wed 18 Jul 20:45
2018
@saintbannerman Jesus.. If that happens I'll shit my pants.
Wed 18 Jul 20:33
2018
My boys bath toys. Fat Matthew, Dr Cracklin', Shit Storm and The Boss. https://t.co/mpoSfSc8jE
Wed 18 Jul 19:39
2018
People think babies are cute until they have one and realise they constantly wee & poo, they're sick on you all the… https://t.co/NzGIunmmnb
Wed 18 Jul 19:31
2018
@MattyEarle For it to turn out he actually said "grab 'em by the penis".
Wed 18 Jul 19:17
2018
@simgeo35 In wheels was probably more accurate. Like chimps play in tyres.
Wed 18 Jul 17:52
2018
@simgeo35 Yes but it may have been the most cultured motoring book... in the world. But MORE likely it was full of… https://t.co/usyYQXN9fk
Wed 18 Jul 17:45
2018
@simgeo35 2nd time in a few weeks in shops yards apart. I quite like that someone is willing to be that petulant. I… https://t.co/LZhiX9zBfp
Wed 18 Jul 17:40
2018
RIP Ethel. Taken too young. Not sure what caused your untimely demise as you were the dominant hen and feisty to th… https://t.co/FeDLPQcA6c
Wed 18 Jul 16:23
2018
This is the 2nd time in Swindon Town Centre that I've seen this. Once in #Waterstones, now in #WHSmith Who is this… https://t.co/3jLImEvM70
Wed 18 Jul 13:02
2018
@simgeo35 @MattDupuy ALL of mine are written by Ross Kemp.
Tue 17 Jul 22:44
2018
@simgeo35 These on a church pew and another lot in the bedroom I can't photograph because my 7 month old who is ash… https://t.co/spDWz4DddG
Tue 17 Jul 22:36
2018
@simgeo35 One of my several history shelves... https://t.co/sQDxnOBIpN
Tue 17 Jul 22:25
2018
As a big fan of New Order, I feel comfortable saying that New Order were as awful as they were brilliant.
Tue 17 Jul 22:23
2018
@richardogrady85 Yeah that was a good one. Save Me was great. God we're boring as fuck these days.
Tue 17 Jul 19:57
2018
Just £39.99 a month & you could get regular dating tips from me via email! What do ladies like? Falconry! Why not… https://t.co/UmdvxNbct2
Tue 17 Jul 19:43
2018
@richardogrady85 It's alright. Only watched the first one so far. It's mainly in Welsh with subtitles so you have t… https://t.co/vfRePVhLZy
Tue 17 Jul 19:37
2018
@SimonCWNotNZnow I'll counter you with a troop of hardened Morris Dancers.
Tue 17 Jul 18:51
2018
@SimonCWNotNZnow I've also.learned.another mysterious word. "Vacoom cleanah".
Tue 17 Jul 18:50
2018
So far, from watching BBC's "Hidden", I've learned that Welsh for "fuck all" is "fuck all" (hope I'm spelling that… https://t.co/PlVPFwYgDM
Tue 17 Jul 18:48
2018
@SimonCWNotNZnow I like Vegemite. It's fine; I just think marmite is a more refined taste. I'd sip a small amount o… https://t.co/FndjNuAh6u
Tue 17 Jul 11:03
2018
@SimonCWNotNZnow I've just bought some Vegemite for the first time. It's ok but it doesn't spread like marmite. It'… https://t.co/9cCjNm43Mw
Tue 17 Jul 10:54
2018
@john_17jackson Tins! Next question: have you ever sat on a knacker while riding a push bike? If so, describe some… https://t.co/lG8EpiLdog
Mon 16 Jul 12:47
2018
@john_17jackson What's your star sign? And how many hotdogs can you eat in one sitting?
Mon 16 Jul 12:33
2018
@Notablogger16 We'll have to go for Messi. We're too good for him ;)
Sun 15 Jul 19:14
2018
Mbappe has been (arguably) the best player in the tournament and scored in the world cup final at 19. Gonna be some player.
Sun 15 Jul 17:25
2018
@saintly1885 Well played.
Sun 15 Jul 16:53
2018
@MattyEarle He looks like he'd be played by Alan Rickman in a story of his own life.
Sun 15 Jul 16:40
2018
I want the Croats to win because.. well.. France isn't it... Also will mean we didn't go out for no reason. But...… https://t.co/wF5nv1J9J8
Sun 15 Jul 16:36
2018
"Can you cut my hair like this please, barber?" "Is that... Pompey the Great?" "No, no. It's my uncle Ray, he get… https://t.co/LMBSWnG0LU
Sun 15 Jul 14:37
2018
@richardogrady85 I'm glad we got that off our chests.
Sun 15 Jul 09:18
2018
To my older brother: I'm sorry for all the times I died and used all our continues on Streets of Rage on the Sega.… https://t.co/9QdhfOj2zs
Sat 14 Jul 17:52
2018
4th out of 32 then. Well done #Eng
Sat 14 Jul 16:50
2018
Every time Jones is involved in an attack (corner, freekick etc.) I stop breathing because I assume he's going to injure Harry Kane. #BELENG
Sat 14 Jul 16:09
2018
#SaturdayKitchen This chef just used an oven, a deep fat fryer, a blowtorch, frying pans and saucepans and countle… https://t.co/u4HuMmQRDL
Sat 14 Jul 10:17
2018
@SimonCWNotNZnow @AWInglis @ElijahR_S @SophieKearing @ct_moor @HunterDPhoenix @KBrave73 @thebiblioblondehttps://t.co/xjLIaHZUFV
Sat 14 Jul 09:47
2018
James Martin bossing around Si and Dave there. Si might see that Dave isn't as mighty as he first though. Cracks wi… https://t.co/YcUONVarJB
Fri 13 Jul 20:02
2018
Can you imagine if Allardyce was the England manager still? We'd have built the team around Rooney still. Jesus.
Fri 13 Jul 14:49
2018
I worked in a call-centre briefly when i was about 19 or 20. No one ONCE told me or any of my colleagues to complet… https://t.co/YOdNJsJLo5
Fri 13 Jul 13:50
2018
I'm starting a Wurzel-style (but Wiltshire as opposed to Somerset) Terence Trent D'arby cover duo. We'll be called… https://t.co/N2tI4MV0WI
Fri 13 Jul 11:14
2018
@simgeo35 Played*
Thu 12 Jul 21:54
2018
@simgeo35 He's shite. I was always holding my breath when he Syed for Saints because I thought ever attack he'd loo… https://t.co/SvjoxpxwN9
Thu 12 Jul 21:54
2018
@simgeo35 Urgh. https://t.co/NtYlafj6ER
Thu 12 Jul 21:35
2018