joe. - profile image
joe.
@_theOcelot
i make things as @ocelotuk. I like technology, skateboards, emo, dnb, cats & #SaintsFC. All views are my own.
Followers: 1016
Following: 3596
Total tweets sent: 10956
Member since: Tue 01 Jun 2010


joe. Latest Tweets

WHAT THE FUCK PIERRE OMG
Mon 17 Sep 20:36
2018
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
Mon 17 Sep 20:36
2018
I dislike immeasurably when someone I can't stand raises a valid and agreeable point online.
Sun 16 Sep 11:59
2018
some woman on the train has her feet out and I swear I can smell them FUCKING PUT YA SHOES ON https://t.co/gsVfxVY3va
Sat 15 Sep 16:57
2018
imagine if when you die it's just a primark queue
Sat 15 Sep 15:31
2018
I try so hard to not enjoy that Heineken 0% advert with the ticket, but you know I lose it internally every time th… https://t.co/c9xP3KwmIY
Fri 14 Sep 22:23
2018
put in his fuckin place πŸ˜‚ https://t.co/13l1yFnGgG
Fri 14 Sep 21:30
2018
so now I can't even get a jagerbomb and stroke random people's dogs. what is the world coming to. https://t.co/Gi6UmsECjg
Wed 12 Sep 16:47
2018
@_startafire had a similar situation in Santander this afternoon, I thought Tuesday was market day when they all come out πŸ˜‚
Wed 12 Sep 16:46
2018
no way do I have like 16 days off after today
Sat 8 Sep 11:01
2018
on today's edition of 'is this filter menthol or regular', we try the samples from the bottom of my bag, the results will astound you.
Sat 8 Sep 11:00
2018
today I'm poorly and it's not fun and I don't enjoy it and pls send sympathy and snacks
Thu 6 Sep 13:04
2018
@webelongdeadd @LozzaKayy @AshFoster91 Hahaha amazing! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Tue 4 Sep 07:11
2018
@LozzaKayy @webelongdeadd @AshFoster91 haha amazing, we all so futuristic eh! πŸ˜‚
Tue 4 Sep 07:09
2018
@webelongdeadd @AshFoster91 so happy 4 u guys. sometimes meeting Internet people irl is a good thing eh πŸ˜‰
Tue 4 Sep 06:43
2018
how is the new @graduatinglife album such a thing of pure beauty omg 😍
Mon 3 Sep 12:33
2018
some dickhead on my rail replacement bus just told ME to turn down MY music, referring to the bus drivers radio
Sun 2 Sep 19:27
2018
man I love getting boats
Sun 2 Sep 17:41
2018
Big up the person who gave me a light on the pier, not all heroes wear capes 😊
Thu 30 Aug 23:17
2018
just got the filthiest look for changing seats on a train, relax ya fucking slug, I ain't trying to get closer, jus… https://t.co/UvTZ8M2AzR
Thu 30 Aug 21:34
2018
honestly whoever had a fight on a train earlier and delayed mine, hope you get charged with section 5 πŸ˜‚
Thu 30 Aug 20:53
2018
@SouthernRailUK oi how do I get compensation then, 23 mins late bc u can't control ya passengers
Thu 30 Aug 20:42
2018
@webelongdeadd @AshFoster91 YASSSSS 😍
Wed 22 Aug 10:34
2018
@webelongdeadd @AshFoster91 where do I sign πŸ˜‚
Wed 22 Aug 10:31
2018
@boohoo_cshelp @boohooMAN can you please reply to my message about @Hermesparcels lying to me please. very unhappy.
Tue 14 Aug 17:53
2018
@BlakePounder too right my g, actually abandoned bus on fairlee cos traffic and walked home haha
Wed 8 Aug 15:46
2018
Β£3.50 for a bus is just about acceptable cos USB ports hahaha
Wed 8 Aug 14:01
2018
@JOHNDOCKING @jimmysaint7 Hahaha this has brightened a stressful hour πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜
Wed 8 Aug 13:01
2018
@jimmysaint7 agree completely, worked in Southampton a while and Cowes week was always a nightmare. You'd think the… https://t.co/01uAVMqCFV
Wed 8 Aug 12:56
2018
I swear, IOW residents DESERVE priority. I don't pay a shit ton to wait in a room full of day trippers.
Wed 8 Aug 12:22
2018
always make mistake of using @HovertravelLtd when will I learn πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Wed 8 Aug 12:21
2018
fuck cowes week, fuck tourism, and fuck standby queues.
Wed 8 Aug 12:20
2018
life is good fam
Wed 8 Aug 10:22
2018
@LozzaKayy haha you know that dude, you'll have to meet her when we next islandside 😊 hope all's good, sweet!
Sun 5 Aug 11:54
2018
@LozzaKayy hehehe ☺️ yessss 😊
Sun 5 Aug 11:51
2018
in what universe would anyone think saying this closeted racist shit is acceptable. right on par with 'nah you're a… https://t.co/jkjpQWkLyk
Sun 5 Aug 11:31
2018
full product range launching thursday so ofc im miles from my pc πŸ€”πŸ˜‚
Sun 5 Aug 11:30
2018
hangovers are fun
Sun 5 Aug 09:31
2018
a man who looked like older post malone gave me an ice pop at the hovercraft today
Sat 4 Aug 17:25
2018
finally get to see my gf tonight yeeeee
Sat 4 Aug 16:31
2018
'COS ALL YOU'LL EVER BE, IS A NIGHTMARE AND A WET DREAM' fucking hell I love Sorority Noise
Wed 1 Aug 20:28
2018
i like working in southampton but goddamn i hate being this knackered https://t.co/VttaBquoNg
Wed 1 Aug 18:53
2018
@zoe_196 hahahaha πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Wed 1 Aug 08:52
2018
45 mins to find my way to Shirley haha ffs
Wed 1 Aug 07:44
2018
been in Southampton literally a minute and already found one dickhead πŸ˜‚
Wed 1 Aug 07:42
2018
can it be the 4th already so I can go back to Worthing ugh
Sat 28 Jul 18:51
2018
@NathanChainey oh definitely mate, something for when I skate to show my support though haha
Sat 28 Jul 17:53
2018
okay yeah I'm buying a shirt this year https://t.co/Chlv0PHLXd
Sat 28 Jul 17:17
2018
everything's been so good for weeks, so ofc here comes unreasonable and random anxiety πŸ˜‚
Sat 28 Jul 16:21
2018
mccafferty > tfb, idgaf
Thu 26 Jul 15:27
2018
spontaneous visits are the best πŸ’š
Thu 26 Jul 09:17
2018
imagine sharing an 'all drug addicts are to blame for own problems' post and then 'pray for demi' shit an hour later omd
Wed 25 Jul 12:38
2018
This journey is honestly bless tho, so many cute lil views outta window https://t.co/VNpG1hZhrH
Mon 23 Jul 19:39
2018
such an amazing evening and day in Worthing πŸ˜ŠπŸ’š
Mon 23 Jul 19:27
2018
@blackflag23 you know what, the camera is what gave me tunnel vision to be honest with you. it is breathtaking, for… https://t.co/RFGWQSQ4an
Sun 22 Jul 21:51
2018
@blackflag23 Grand choice mate, it was one I considered myself before buying this Pixel 2. My buddy has one, v jealous haha.
Sun 22 Jul 21:44
2018
@blackflag23 wow, that's a thing of pure beauty! what handset is that? I would like to guess Huawei P20 range? πŸ˜‚
Sun 22 Jul 21:33
2018
Sort it out @Google, ya battery game is weak. https://t.co/B69WNJcCAO
Sun 22 Jul 19:43
2018
watching this random lady trying to get her ef students attention is the best entertainment
Sun 22 Jul 19:31
2018
THERE ARE TWO DOGS ON MY HOVERCRAFT OMGOMGOMG
Sun 22 Jul 17:30
2018
@youtubemusic looks pretty sick, doesn't it.
Fri 20 Jul 18:37
2018
'Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question: "Is this real, or is this just a rid… https://t.co/VXNnXCsapT
Fri 20 Jul 09:34
2018
now I'm back I'm gonna mention for the hundredth time about how fkn good the new @momjeansca album is
Thu 19 Jul 21:28
2018
sorry I haven't been around, enforced twitter break whilst getting health sorted. all good now. tysm for all love and support recently. πŸ’š
Thu 19 Jul 21:27
2018
IT COMING HOME βš½πŸ’š https://t.co/qqO1QyRb73
Tue 3 Jul 22:10
2018
Huge shout out to @momjeansca for releasing the dopest album this year, big up boys
Tue 3 Jul 17:39
2018
Anyone else as fucking excited as I am!? πŸ™‹πŸ™‹πŸ™‹πŸ™‹πŸ™‹ https://t.co/BFBsRhBRGi
Mon 2 Jul 21:36
2018
Mon 2 Jul 12:28
2018
BIG UP SOUTH KOREA
Wed 27 Jun 16:54
2018
@louistheroux You know, I fkn love you Louis. We need more people like you.
Tue 26 Jun 17:28
2018
A portrait in grey scale Of perfect betrayal And I can't even breathe
Tue 26 Jun 13:14
2018
@alexmcinnes16 Thank you homie! Just gonna take some time to find me again! πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Š
Tue 26 Jun 13:10
2018
@alexmcinnes16 50% Torn by Natalie Imbruglia, 50% You Outta Know by Alanis Morisette is probably the best way to describe my mood mate 🀣
Tue 26 Jun 13:01
2018
Lost sight of who I was, and gave everything to someone that deserved nothing.
Tue 26 Jun 12:51
2018
@MarcGuberti I needed this today.
Tue 26 Jun 01:41
2018
@webelongdeadd The worst advice haha. Maybe the idea was cry everything out 🀣 I dunno haha
Mon 25 Jun 14:07
2018
Fuck the idiot that told me to listen to Natalie fucking Imbruglia in this mood
Mon 25 Jun 12:40
2018
@soophiieejadee Thank you lovely, I'll be okay! Just a bit stunned.
Sun 24 Jun 21:14
2018
@NathanChainey Thanks Chain! I'll definitely take you up on that my man! Will be great to catch up :)
Sun 24 Jun 20:27
2018
@LozzaKayy I will keep my Wednesday evening free either way sweet :) worst case scenario I'll be free from half five :) πŸ’š
Sun 24 Jun 20:18
2018
@LozzaKayy Yassss! I'm free most evenings but I'll check my rota when I go back to work tomorrow and let you know πŸ˜πŸ’š
Sun 24 Jun 20:14
2018
Jan Bednarek is one of the most frustrating players I've watched. I know it's his age, but he goes from solid EPL s… https://t.co/uVxgyacosD
Sun 24 Jun 20:11
2018
@blondiesaint @JoSaintsJo Thank you so much! They really do, to be honest. Made for each other in fact. Let them be… https://t.co/Irt9fcWDTo
Sun 24 Jun 20:10
2018
@LozzaKayy Thank you sweet πŸ’š we must catch up soon and I'll tell you all the details I don't wanna put online, im t… https://t.co/kSJycvpPWz
Sun 24 Jun 20:08
2018
@JoSaintsJo I know it will, but I will find myself, and move forward in my own way. We can't go back but we can alw… https://t.co/nmdqPJOjjT
Sun 24 Jun 20:03
2018
@blondiesaint Thank you, it's a horrible situation but at least I know now! No more being called paranoid for noticing things.
Sun 24 Jun 20:02
2018
@northernsaint0 Very true! Two years it's been going on, I deserve better. Two less toxic people in my life. πŸ‘Œ
Sun 24 Jun 20:02
2018
Always scores on a Tuesday 🀣🀣🀣🀣 you're a funny one @Rchap04 https://t.co/vHBy3gTTJC
Thu 21 Jun 14:09
2018
@TheGifKing To be fair, you've always been one of the first to defend Dusan on here :)
Thu 21 Jun 14:04
2018
@mad_biker_mum_ @Im_Cheaper_ @Morrisons Tell me about it, I've had that same advert printed every time I've gone in this week!
Mon 18 Jun 16:47
2018
Nearly in tears, what a fucking legend. https://t.co/7Do8LVKHow
Mon 18 Jun 13:42
2018
@BBCSport Must be the only one that managed to make it work 🀣🀣
Fri 15 Jun 13:26
2018
@BBCSport Your VR app is a joke. https://t.co/Illv5n7Bkh
Fri 15 Jun 13:02
2018
Anyone here use Weibo? πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³
Fri 15 Jun 11:57
2018
@foreversaint_ @SouthamptonFC Access to all 38 games on TV, VIP meet and greet during China tour, free tickets to b… https://t.co/7rmL7lfPzi
Fri 15 Jun 11:55
2018
Also, does this actually say you get two tickets if you get full exam marks!? πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ https://t.co/2Ooh45rwBE
Fri 15 Jun 11:52
2018
@SouthamptonFC why can't we get awesome packages like this in England!? https://t.co/VvEY1vCz9p
Fri 15 Jun 11:49
2018
No fucking way have Leeds appointed Bielsa!? incredible.
Fri 15 Jun 09:55
2018
Ronaldo looking rather healthy there #WorldCup
Thu 14 Jun 15:40
2018
That suit tho.. πŸ‘Œ #WorldCup
Thu 14 Jun 15:32
2018
Joint bid beats Morocco bid, hardly a surprise. #WC2026 #FIFACongress
Wed 13 Jun 11:52
2018
Like, honestly, had a teenage me known the sort of pish they were writing in '94 about Islam, and that Gavin McInne… https://t.co/e0ABuAb64f
Mon 11 Jun 14:30
2018
You know, teenage me loved Vice, but the older I get, and the more I learn, the more I realised I was led down some… https://t.co/c3Z2lwoVZt
Mon 11 Jun 14:25
2018
@crstig I beg to differ, highlight of my morning reading those
Mon 11 Jun 14:17
2018
Big up Spain for taking in the Aquarius, a boat full of human beings. You know, those things that every single one… https://t.co/tImEpw2yVN
Mon 11 Jun 14:14
2018
13:59 brings back bad memories, I wept when he missed that penalty, and cut my Baggio ponytail off the next day. I… https://t.co/kJC7AlKTPv
Mon 11 Jun 14:08
2018
@McDonaldsUK are abysmal at replying to emails
Mon 11 Jun 12:27
2018
😍😍😍 https://t.co/Tgmlxp8qJY
Mon 11 Jun 08:28
2018
@RedMarkyMark @CostaCoffee Did you really post an over two year old article, about a city I've never been to, for a… https://t.co/R2mHLmPBcd
Fri 8 Jun 19:28
2018
@momjeansca @CIRecs @bsmrocks I am so super stoked, and excited and happy all at once. You can probably hear my exc… https://t.co/AWZCxqxHs9
Thu 7 Jun 16:53
2018
Wed 6 Jun 22:33
2018
@LandfallGames TABG getting stuck on ready forever, and occasionally saying GO UPDATE even though latest version 😒
Wed 6 Jun 22:28
2018
@Rchap04 This makes me far happier than any #saintsfc news so far this summer. Hope you have midweek evening games… https://t.co/p68juuH4wi
Wed 6 Jun 12:50
2018
Pub crawl with a team partnered with a dispensary!? Shits gonna get messy 🀣 https://t.co/giA4BVmEtU
Wed 6 Jun 12:46
2018
@CIRecs @momjeansca @graduatinglife That's all good guys, I'm sure I can find an american friend tonight who can ar… https://t.co/XbffDeo7Sy
Sat 2 Jun 16:39
2018
'Merican friendos! Anyone wanna lend me a postal address to buy this badboy? https://t.co/PCiV63ZJYh
Sat 2 Jun 16:34
2018
@momjeansca @graduatinglife @CIRecs Any way I can buy this in UK without nearly 25 bucks shipping?
Sat 2 Jun 16:34
2018
Fucking buzzing for Paolo Guerrero. For once, and quite rarely in football, common sense prevails. πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ
Thu 31 May 18:17
2018
@NathanChainey πŸ‘‹πŸ‘‹! Hey Chain!
Thu 31 May 14:40
2018
Had a shave this morning and the bus driver asked if I was 19 🀣🀣
Thu 31 May 11:48
2018
In fact, I used to play as San Jose Earthquakes occasionally on FIFA as a kid because of him a few years later
Thu 31 May 09:45
2018
I was obsessed with Ekelund that season! https://t.co/iC04tETMp0
Thu 31 May 09:43
2018
Arkadiy Babchenko. Wow.
Wed 30 May 19:17
2018
@Sgt__Bash If Tadic goes, he would definitely suit the role, I would say.
Wed 30 May 18:02
2018
Got a random email telling me my Trump Baphomet design is "blasphemy", "disgusting" and "I should be ashamed". So,… https://t.co/pSjbUugC9i
Wed 30 May 17:48
2018
@AdeMcKenzie Haha I was shocked when I checked 🀣 I'd agree he looks far smaller.
Wed 30 May 17:30
2018
@AdeMcKenzie Oi, I'm the same height as Tadic 🀣🀣 5'11" would you believe. Shaqiri is full on at 5'6" hahaha. That's… https://t.co/ESgWwHxbIA
Wed 30 May 17:27
2018
Also, I love how my spell check turns Dusan Tadic into Susan Radical. What.
Wed 30 May 15:21
2018
Rumours we are looking at Shaqiri in Swiss media, I could of sworn he's just a short Dusan Tadic anyway #SaintsFC
Wed 30 May 15:21
2018
Absolutely tragic, and yet another example of our systems failing those who are most at risk. https://t.co/00oCLFr4fW
Wed 30 May 15:17
2018
I genuinely love how people still know me as the O2 man five years after I left my Guru role. Nothing nicer than kn… https://t.co/Z58uSRl49V
Wed 30 May 15:14
2018
@LuckyRedGooner @bt_uk crs.hlc@bt.com should help you, that's the executive complaint team :)
Wed 30 May 11:46
2018
@Morrisons @michaelmo89 How about you guys reply to my messages you asked me to send?
Wed 30 May 11:18
2018
@Morrisons @beckyinch Kanika, please reply to the DM you advised me to send 2 days ago @Morrisons
Wed 30 May 10:03
2018
@Morrisons @JanineStratford Are you gonna reply to me before you start opening new cases? Been waiting two days sin… https://t.co/LooJasjieV
Wed 30 May 10:02
2018
Someone give this dude a medal, or a Nobel prize or something, he made it happen! He actually made it happen! πŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’š https://t.co/9qvlBH0MtJ
Tue 29 May 18:22
2018
@Morrisons @Jenn_Dover Wouldn't bother replying mate, they only ignore the message they tell you to send. This Kani… https://t.co/XWKQ34Jnbe
Tue 29 May 18:12
2018
@Morrisons @_Laurenaireyx Wouldn't bother replying mate, they only ignore the message they tell you to send.
Tue 29 May 18:11
2018
@Morrisons @IAN_POULTER Wouldn't bother replying mate, they only ignore the message they tell you to send.
Tue 29 May 18:10
2018
The Sun acting in a dishonest and backhanded way towards Sterling? Not like they ever hacked a murdered kids voicem… https://t.co/Ge1mxG2qFC
Tue 29 May 18:07
2018
So @Morrisons are still unable or unwilling to reply nearly 20 hours after asking me to message details. This is ab… https://t.co/Q2R36R3qIU
Tue 29 May 15:53
2018
Sleep well, Mr McClure. Phil Hartman was one of the true greats of voice acting. https://t.co/XbAlyYYoTq
Tue 29 May 13:34
2018
@Morrisons I guess my complaint wasn't important enough @Morrisons
Tue 29 May 09:14
2018
@Morrisons DM sent
Mon 28 May 19:42
2018
Just received the WORST customer service in @Morrisons Newport Isle of Wight. Imagine spending over Β£1000 over a fe… https://t.co/5u0C0cdN2U
Mon 28 May 19:02
2018
@benperry_2001 you're an inspiration dude, we need more people like you.
Sat 26 May 15:09
2018