Jon - profile image
Jon
@nottherealjon
.Ex-RAF now in IT, personal views etc. Season ticket #saintsfc fan. Follow for inane drivel & mutterings. Don't do #FF
Followers: 879
Following: 865
Total tweets sent: 33224
Member since: Sun 08 Feb 2009


Jon Latest Tweets

#freecoutinho Give him the chance to play for a big club & realise his true potential https://t.co/ayXE1VMyGw
Fri 21 Jul 07:09
2017
@LYCoolJ @StarlitAlicia A (moving) picture paints a thousand words! https://t.co/x1mTtxt40a
Thu 20 Jul 21:31
2017
@LYCoolJ @StarlitAlicia Even with a blindfold you'd surely know something was up. No mess obviously...
Thu 20 Jul 21:29
2017
Thu 20 Jul 21:23
2017
@LYCoolJ πŸ˜’πŸ€—
Thu 20 Jul 21:21
2017
@andyofandrew @StarlitAlicia Not a fan of old people smell https://t.co/ffKfmDkpxX
Thu 20 Jul 21:16
2017
Thu 20 Jul 21:02
2017
Thu 20 Jul 19:43
2017
@StarlitAlicia I'm guessing she noticed when she bit into plastic https://t.co/JWzaP3KSms
Thu 20 Jul 19:24
2017
@StarlitAlicia Woman duped into sex with another female as she worse a prosthetic. Surely you'd notice?
Thu 20 Jul 19:06
2017
@DodieP1966 I guessing certain sexual transactions never took place.... normally in a new relationship you step up… https://t.co/RjuxVXJkKu
Thu 20 Jul 16:21
2017
@DodieP1966 Surely you'd notice? https://t.co/BqhLUTEKUk
Thu 20 Jul 16:07
2017
Thu 20 Jul 13:55
2017
@6666dappa @stehoare Best players? Lovren. We're the Dick Turpins of the Premier League πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Thu 20 Jul 13:54
2017
@SlimySnail No worries. Key is more to define the information you want share than the site itself. You can start off with basic info easily
Thu 20 Jul 13:36
2017
@SlimySnail Wordpress or Wix
Thu 20 Jul 13:29
2017
@Firstofthetwo That old chestnut! https://t.co/4MPfL3BkId
Thu 20 Jul 12:11
2017
@Firstofthetwo Ummmm the music....
Thu 20 Jul 11:22
2017
@GinQueen13 Haha ta!
Wed 19 Jul 20:56
2017
@GinQueen13 Remember me when you're drawing your pension as I do my extra 12 months!
Wed 19 Jul 20:54
2017
@GinQueen13 Working as a manual worker until nearly 70?? It'll kill more people. So are you a 1970 baby as well?
Wed 19 Jul 20:52
2017
@GinQueen13 Am still aiming to end earlier with private & forces pension but not everyone has that choice or abilit… https://t.co/HKhmrkdNEt
Wed 19 Jul 20:46
2017
@GinQueen13 That's just crap. What about making room for the younger generation to move up?
Wed 19 Jul 20:42
2017
@Honeywell_Home Many thanks, will do and great service.
Wed 19 Jul 20:36
2017
@GinQueen13 Included by a matter of a month or so. πŸ˜’ for once I'd like to be just that bit older!
Wed 19 Jul 20:34
2017
Anyone got a Honeywell thermostat using Lyric?
Wed 19 Jul 20:16
2017
I like @GaryLineker & the BBC but on the day the Govt tells me work an extra year this is obscene. The BBC is so ou… https://t.co/NKFGwMRcjO
Wed 19 Jul 18:33
2017
@verbomania @StarlitAlicia @LYCoolJ It's stopped itching now!
Wed 19 Jul 17:48
2017
@SaintsPoll I was born in 1970. Means i get to work an extra year!
Wed 19 Jul 14:36
2017
WTF!!! So that means I have to work an extra year! https://t.co/vPFehU6E3x
Wed 19 Jul 14:06
2017
@DanRebellato @GaryLineker I think the socialists would have more to say about the stupid salaries tbh...
Wed 19 Jul 12:10
2017
@Lord_Sugar @GaryLineker But is the tax payer getting value for money for this extraordinary wages? We talk of stup… https://t.co/7EGus60MjM
Wed 19 Jul 12:09
2017
@MandinaM Threw it down here last night........really really heavy rain. Bit muggy this morning again!
Wed 19 Jul 07:22
2017
@LYCoolJ Going to bed but check out the RT from earlier!
Tue 18 Jul 22:27
2017
Right bed but not before a 🚿 cos it's muggy. Started to rain again so will lay there & listen to the sound
Tue 18 Jul 22:27
2017
@CeeBee2808 @M0O_MOO @Dicky_turpin @helpsainsburys Dab some vodka on it THEN lick it. 😁
Tue 18 Jul 22:17
2017
@GinQueen13 Nope none of that here. I quite like watching that, especially if it's over the Solent
Tue 18 Jul 22:17
2017
@GinQueen13 We didn't have too much lightning though. One or two, pretty non eventful
Tue 18 Jul 22:13
2017
@GinQueen13 It's really muggy here now and no sign of the rain on my patio. Glad I wasn't on that bus!
Tue 18 Jul 22:09
2017
@GinQueen13 Check out my last RT. Hammered it down in Southampton!
Tue 18 Jul 22:05
2017
@M0O_MOO @PurrplePawz @helpsainsburys Do you use the one at Millbrook? We do, good value
Tue 18 Jul 19:30
2017
@M0O_MOO @helpsainsburys @PurrplePawz https://t.co/8QVjfAMelc
Tue 18 Jul 19:27
2017
@M0O_MOO @PurrplePawz @helpsainsburys Lick it, see if it moves.
Tue 18 Jul 19:20
2017
@M0O_MOO @PurrplePawz @helpsainsburys I'd have said tick. Can you see any legs hanging out?
Tue 18 Jul 19:19
2017
@M0O_MOO @helpsainsburys Black nipple?
Tue 18 Jul 19:11
2017
@M0O_MOO Nope but what's up?
Tue 18 Jul 19:08
2017
There's a lot of RAF Regt members that would like to even up the numbers. Simon's ex-mob https://t.co/XyQHllxItD
Tue 18 Jul 10:56
2017
@LYCoolJ @StarlitAlicia I'll try that!
Tue 18 Jul 08:51
2017
@M0O_MOO I used all 5 bogs yesterday at work. 😁
Tue 18 Jul 07:11
2017
@LYCoolJ Is he O Pos cos I am and they absolutely love that. It must be the Merlot of the mozzie world!
Tue 18 Jul 07:09
2017
@LYCoolJ Ehhhhh 🀒 not nice!!
Tue 18 Jul 07:06
2017
@LYCoolJ Got a massive lump on sock line. Got bitten loads putting up a 25m fence on Sunday. Body loijs like a war zone! 😐
Tue 18 Jul 07:03
2017
@LYCoolJ Not got any πŸ˜’ itching is beginning to subside!
Mon 17 Jul 22:22
2017
@Roseyanny Yup 😏
Mon 17 Jul 22:21
2017
Mozzie bite on my ankle.... 😬😬😬
Mon 17 Jul 21:45
2017
Feel really guilty about Everton & Cuco. It's like we've really taken the piss & they've not realised. No fun in that #saintsfc
Mon 17 Jul 20:55
2017
@Everton Bye Cuco, thanks for the quality football from the #saintsfc fans! https://t.co/CU47QBTQq2
Mon 17 Jul 20:52
2017
@Roseyanny Have a massive crush on her.
Mon 17 Jul 20:31
2017
@Lassx You still local?
Mon 17 Jul 18:11
2017
@Lassx There's a nice pub at the top of Beaulieu hill called The Royal Oak that does nice food
Mon 17 Jul 18:08
2017
@OGillyO @stripeytwinkle https://t.co/AuSxpUMRls
Sat 15 Jul 22:26
2017
@OGillyO @stripeytwinkle https://t.co/nxbUQVjglT
Sat 15 Jul 22:25
2017
@OGillyO @stripeytwinkle *blocked
Sat 15 Jul 22:24
2017
@OGillyO @stripeytwinkle Where's the lobster?
Sat 15 Jul 22:06
2017
First paragraph got me πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜Š https://t.co/oZ5hcxJFDH
Sat 15 Jul 22:04
2017
@OGillyO @stripeytwinkle My GIF didn't work!!
Sat 15 Jul 22:03
2017
@OGillyO @stripeytwinkle https://t.co/KrQ5fISc14
Sat 15 Jul 22:03
2017
@OGillyO @stripeytwinkle Lobster
Sat 15 Jul 22:02
2017
@ABZQuine Let's call him Norman
Sat 15 Jul 21:59
2017
@mrdanwalker Get in ma mouth... https://t.co/0an2gFq5hg
Sat 15 Jul 21:56
2017
@M0O_MOO Got to better than where I am.... a pub with mo beer... 😐
Sat 15 Jul 21:54
2017
@M0O_MOO Where's this?
Sat 15 Jul 20:27
2017
@PVeigh He's live streaming a poo. You heard it here first πŸ’©
Sat 15 Jul 19:21
2017
@DodieP1966 At a quiz night in a pub with low stock. 😐
Sat 15 Jul 19:20
2017
@SFCJaay @blondiesaint They bite easily.
Sat 15 Jul 18:29
2017
@SFCJaay @blondiesaint Check out my TL. Caught a few today myself. This sport is better than watching football
Sat 15 Jul 18:27
2017
@58mum Money doesn't breed passion.
Sat 15 Jul 17:53
2017
Looks like I'm at a quiz night near Rownhams tonight. Better shower then.... πŸ’¦πŸšΏπŸ›
Sat 15 Jul 17:51
2017
@58mum So do I. The Premier League has been both good & bad. That's why supporting smaller teams is great, more of a family club
Sat 15 Jul 17:47
2017
@Pitty2017 @littlelegs362 @LivEchoLFC Apparently the news from the training ground is that he isn't. He's trolling you lot. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Sat 15 Jul 17:38
2017
@58mum That's cos you're not deluded!
Sat 15 Jul 17:22
2017
Sat 15 Jul 16:33
2017
@MikeRandyLFC @alipal69 Bless. https://t.co/Z1J7frR9aD
Sat 15 Jul 16:32
2017
@M0O_MOO Modelled on me, obviously ;-) https://t.co/fcUYMFufwp
Sat 15 Jul 16:15
2017
@MikeRandyLFC @alipal69 Yep apologies. What about let's pretend I'm a scouser and I say at the beginning of each Au… https://t.co/kZpqBndPJq
Sat 15 Jul 15:50
2017
@MikeRandyLFC @alipal69 Blimey, he's had enough time from stealing car radios in his shell suit to tweet that. Now… https://t.co/4O4yl1cCOU
Sat 15 Jul 15:47
2017
Never ever tell a #LFC fan their club isn't as big as Chelsea or City.. . https://t.co/MwEwRUqmcp
Sat 15 Jul 15:36
2017
Really really hit a nerve over on Insta with the #LFC fans. Very very funny. Upset them methinks... https://t.co/sbivv0jqKO
Sat 15 Jul 15:33
2017
You have to love #LFC fans for the enjoyment level. A club that used to be a big club thinking they're still a big club. #suchfun
Sat 15 Jul 14:57
2017
Hopefully with an electable leader though Jezza. https://t.co/FBNuH0G5gX
Sat 15 Jul 14:12
2017
@StarlitAlicia I'm bad at concentrating...
Sat 15 Jul 12:51
2017
Right, I've told Alexa to play Fleetwood Mac's back catalogue. Am now shutting down this tab on the browser so I'm not distracted. Study out
Sat 15 Jul 11:58
2017
Looks at studying journal, looks at social media. No will power.....
Sat 15 Jul 11:55
2017
@pintsizePiTCH Yup. That's me folding the washing on the right.
Sat 15 Jul 11:41
2017
Why are you all awake tweeting? It's just turned 7am on a Saturday. Go back to bed!
Sat 15 Jul 07:21
2017
@LEWIS_C 😁 https://t.co/ZWRDsSBN8K
Fri 14 Jul 19:58
2017
@StarlitAlicia Yep. One of the many many cars....
Fri 14 Jul 19:50
2017
@therainking_ Spoke to Mandy. 26th July. I'm not going. Was post knee op sepsis. Blood clot etc
Fri 14 Jul 19:41
2017
@StarlitAlicia Yep, could have been you. Was around Winchester and Eastleigh
Fri 14 Jul 18:48
2017
@StarlitAlicia Were you on M3 at 5pm today heading South?
Fri 14 Jul 18:45
2017
Take note @SouthamptonFC Get Les to turn off his phone and put his out of office on until the end of the transfer w… https://t.co/OsqubiBkPT
Fri 14 Jul 12:42
2017
@mattletiss7 Hi Doc, I've got this awful rash....😁
Fri 14 Jul 11:18
2017
@therainking_ Where are you off to?
Fri 14 Jul 07:03
2017
@UKLabour Imagine if Labour had an electable leader against the weakest Tory PM in a lifetime. There would have been a landslide.
Thu 13 Jul 21:59
2017
@kevvie_geeSFC @MayaYoshida3 @OriolRomeu Actually with @HugoScheckter new beard making him look like Geoff Capes I… https://t.co/ouzCMrCLKG
Thu 13 Jul 13:32
2017
@MayaYoshida3 I bet @OriolRomeu could lift more.
Thu 13 Jul 13:30
2017
@mrs_buttercup_ We're in Spain in 3 weeks time so leave some for us! ;-)
Thu 13 Jul 13:05
2017
@thedorothygael I'm a psychopath with a tendency to kill people who ask stupid questions is probably the best reply
Thu 13 Jul 09:37
2017
@TheRedOne1977 It's never done, just that each crisis from now on is more complex & expensive
Thu 13 Jul 08:21
2017
@TheRedOne1977 Congratulations on allowing them to get thus far. It gets worse when they reach 22
Thu 13 Jul 07:56
2017
@Toots_1973 @M0O_MOO πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Thu 13 Jul 07:56
2017
@OGillyO It's my competitive streak! πŸ’©
Wed 12 Jul 22:05
2017
We have a scorecard at work which consists of the number of poo's against their Bristol scale score. Highest number wins. I hit 27 today 🀒
Wed 12 Jul 22:02
2017
@LadyLisaCusack Was that hard to come by in the end?
Wed 12 Jul 21:19
2017
@LadyLisaCusack That's a great colour that one
Wed 12 Jul 21:16
2017
@LadyLisaCusack They're great plants, the nursery almost ran out owing to a massive run on them! I love them!
Wed 12 Jul 21:14
2017
@JWCChristiansen Nor can I, she is probably the most inept politician in the Labour cabinet & she deserves to be he… https://t.co/byoqfuZvlf
Wed 12 Jul 19:48
2017
Lol!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ https://t.co/EEKrpRRSHa
Wed 12 Jul 15:09
2017
@StripedSaint Yep, agreed mate. Opinions are great, claiming to ITK tends to prove that they arent ITK! Have muted… https://t.co/OzGPN3yOm2
Wed 12 Jul 09:02
2017
@StripedSaint One thing i learned a long time ago is the ITK accounts know nothing....
Wed 12 Jul 08:56
2017
@SAINTSINFRANCE Can hardly call @Realaldo474 a LFC legend. Mediocre by the standards when LFC was a big club. Bit like Ali Dia
Wed 12 Jul 07:07
2017
@TeleFootball @ben_rumsby Speaks volumes about the club. Will do anything to compete with the big boys again, legal… https://t.co/taOA3Jhnh1
Tue 11 Jul 20:05
2017
At about 8 on the Bristol scale 🀒 https://t.co/u3qwcE0Kx4
Tue 11 Jul 15:41
2017
@FootballGrf @SkinnyJody Agree, there should only be one coach the kids listen to
Tue 11 Jul 13:52
2017
FFS, they are still sharing FB posts for luxury RV's that can't be sold cos they've been unwrapped etc..... https://t.co/foK07brFtS
Tue 11 Jul 13:50
2017
@VeeBear Congratulations on coming off the market! 😚
Tue 11 Jul 11:59
2017
@M0O_MOO Download the IFTTT app to get a feel. Happy to help if you need it mate
Mon 10 Jul 21:49
2017
@M0O_MOO It's an app that allows you to use conditions, i.e. If my location is 5 mins away boost my heating & turn on my lights.
Mon 10 Jul 21:43
2017
@therainking_ @M0O_MOO Use it with Live360 then you can get it to turn on/off if you're close to home or turn lights on/off at dusk, etc
Mon 10 Jul 21:39
2017
@M0O_MOO I use it with the Alexa. The ultimate in being lazy but if you use IFTTT then you can be really creative.
Mon 10 Jul 21:37
2017
@Firstofthetwo I might take a day off & smash a lot of it out to catch up. On my 9th course of the year so far!
Mon 10 Jul 21:36
2017
@Firstofthetwo I don't but I have an attention deficit..... https://t.co/YlMNqJnEym
Mon 10 Jul 21:32
2017
@M0O_MOO Give me a shout if you need further technical stuff!
Mon 10 Jul 21:31
2017
@Firstofthetwo Yes, yes you're right.
Mon 10 Jul 21:29
2017
@M0O_MOO Got hive with the boiler so not sure, lights are about Β£20ish. Really makes your heating etc far more prog… https://t.co/pKKltNLS90
Mon 10 Jul 21:26
2017
Think 4 simultaneous self learning courses is biting off more I can chew...
Mon 10 Jul 21:20
2017
@saltandtomatoes @therainking_ He knows all about Spanish semen. He onced dated a waiter called Carlos
Mon 10 Jul 19:57
2017
@M0O_MOO Yep, use it for heating & lights. Works well, especially as you can be specific with timings etc. Turns heating on if I'm close etc
Mon 10 Jul 19:20
2017
Definitely, he needs to play for a big club to demonstrate his qualities & not stuck in mid table mediocrity https://t.co/voJSgmRNAd
Mon 10 Jul 18:46
2017
@Roseyanny People who carry their mobile in front of them & hold calls using the speaker. Shoot them first.
Mon 10 Jul 18:39
2017
@Tozz2009 There's only about 1 min 52 seconds worth watching tbh
Mon 10 Jul 08:02
2017
@Tozz2009 I must have missed that bit, wasn't the most exciting film going!
Mon 10 Jul 07:40
2017
@Tozz2009 Yep, I noticed that. Also....the love eggs. They didn't take them out before committing the act. That's gonna feel awkward 😐
Mon 10 Jul 07:31
2017
Mon 10 Jul 07:11
2017
@Tozz2009 I was forced to watch it on Saturday. There are so many plot holes!!
Mon 10 Jul 07:09
2017
@K1ng1e Obviously it's a good day to have a birthday! 🍻🍺🍷πŸ₯‚πŸΉπŸŽ‚πŸ°
Sun 9 Jul 20:29
2017
@K1ng1e Yup, plus my twin bro. 29th July
Sun 9 Jul 20:26
2017
@K1ng1e Ditto!
Sun 9 Jul 20:21
2017
@Roseyanny Yep, the background for explosion was super imposed
Sat 8 Jul 23:20
2017
@Roseyanny My son was on a cadet course & watched them blow the house up...in Surrey!!
Sat 8 Jul 23:18
2017
Sat 8 Jul 23:09
2017
@CurvyDeviant Always the way xx
Sat 8 Jul 22:54
2017
@DodieP1966 Nah, you're good looking & have a great personality. He's a lucky man! 😁
Sat 8 Jul 21:52
2017
@DodieP1966 Even an ugly bloke can pull the most beautiful girl if he's got a great personality! πŸ˜‰
Sat 8 Jul 21:47
2017
@andyofandrew Cheers buddy!
Sat 8 Jul 20:59
2017
Sat 8 Jul 20:49
2017
Anniversary date night (a week late) @ Stanwell House Hotel https://t.co/uQCjbOrhVS
Sat 8 Jul 20:48
2017
@therainking_ @sometimes_angry Next time you're down this way we'll go with you up the Beaulieu. Easy to kayak & 2 mins away
Sat 8 Jul 16:03
2017
@titsandtatts41 https://t.co/E3V6bAFyGU
Sat 8 Jul 16:01
2017
@titsandtatts41 What sort you of cheese? Details are important. https://t.co/PT1pxBfyAa
Sat 8 Jul 15:56
2017
@LadyLisaCusack @locolisa75 Love this!
Fri 7 Jul 21:15
2017
@LadyLisaCusack @locolisa75 Yep, that's brilliant!! Was it from bulb or seed?
Fri 7 Jul 21:14
2017
@titsandtatts41 https://t.co/BNr8THLQyG
Thu 6 Jul 13:49
2017