Jon - profile image
Jon
@nottherealjon
.Ex-RAF now in IT, personal views etc. Season ticket #saintsfc fan. Follow for inane drivel & mutterings. Don't do #FF Don't add me to sell me stuff #blocked
Followers: 1158
Following: 1370
Total tweets sent: 38734
Member since: Sun 08 Feb 2009


Jon Latest Tweets

Sun 24 Jun 19:06
2018
@M0O_MOO Deadpool and Spiderman? What if the men turn out to be gay?
Sun 24 Jun 18:48
2018
@TheRedOne1977 Yep, sure. Migraine do you? https://t.co/9CtnfHYWka
Sun 24 Jun 18:47
2018
@TheRedOne1977 Want me to ring work and pretend to be your mum?
Sun 24 Jun 18:42
2018
@freckledfox10 Well done Sam 👏👏👏 I despair how people still do this!
Sun 24 Jun 18:42
2018
@paulj71 Southgate hasn't been sacked yet. At least apply for his job after the World Cup....!😁
Sun 24 Jun 11:50
2018
Not really drank for 10 months. Halo slipped last night at a great wedding. Met up with my old team, brilliant peop… https://t.co/cuHzbJkRDN
Sun 24 Jun 11:49
2018
Sat 23 Jun 23:26
2018
@M0O_MOO Wanna fight? https://t.co/mNuLb4KZNI
Sat 23 Jun 23:21
2018
We all want a woman that looks at you like this... https://t.co/VJIZT3NV8W
Sat 23 Jun 23:14
2018
I've pulled.... @ Longthorns Farm https://t.co/nhJgTBjA1d
Sat 23 Jun 21:45
2018
Absolutely lovely day. So happy for Alex and Crystal x 👍 @ Longthorns Farm https://t.co/PzeiJe1qj1
Sat 23 Jun 21:45
2018
They have alpacas here! https://t.co/Cn0pKP7sRp
Sat 23 Jun 18:10
2018
Nice day for a wedding! https://t.co/JfhIJaiEcX
Sat 23 Jun 12:08
2018
@mwinchy13 @MarcTR4 @Mike7167 @m_fieldgeneral @MissYjw1 @PorteousStuart @SAINTSINFRANCE @Madmarky01 👏👏👏 well said.… https://t.co/Gp5EIQtkap
Sat 23 Jun 10:37
2018
@M0O_MOO Enjoy your self!x
Fri 22 Jun 18:55
2018
@M0O_MOO Anywhere nice?
Fri 22 Jun 18:21
2018
@JoSaintsJo @romsey_squib @MarcTR4 @Mike7167 @MissYjw1 @PorteousStuart @SAINTSINFRANCE @Madmarky01 I'm voting for Y… https://t.co/j1GQNnwpp1
Fri 22 Jun 17:08
2018
@suziperry Who would win in a fight between a horse sized duck against 100 duck sized horses?
Fri 22 Jun 13:58
2018
Good article about IT @SouthamptonFC As an IT professional I've alway been interested in how they do things https://t.co/XowGkOwgvW
Fri 22 Jun 08:27
2018
@Roseyanny I think we're breeding a stupid society built upon mistruths and lies in the press & social media. No-on… https://t.co/saUtoGQ9AY
Fri 22 Jun 08:13
2018
@Roseyanny This is suicide. We had briefings in our business prior and I know some did still vote for it.
Fri 22 Jun 08:08
2018
@Roseyanny There's a massive supply chain hanging off Airbus. Sadly this is much much bigger.
Fri 22 Jun 08:04
2018
A woman has just come up to me holding an unlit fag. She said, “Have you got a light cock?” I replied, “Well it floats in the bath!”
Fri 22 Jun 07:15
2018
You know that scene in Father Ted? Well.....👀 https://t.co/Uq6VndBnA9
Thu 21 Jun 20:19
2018
@BryanieKeatos_7 Well done!
Thu 21 Jun 20:14
2018
@U2justmeKT Got them downloaded already! 👍😀
Thu 21 Jun 13:38
2018
Thu 21 Jun 13:21
2018
@finchypoos Good call, I liked it! https://t.co/3oJhYXacwv
Thu 21 Jun 13:17
2018
@saint7628 Yep, been a fan since the 80's! 👍
Thu 21 Jun 11:49
2018
@mattms1 Good call!
Thu 21 Jun 11:34
2018
@therainking_ Seen her live. Twice
Thu 21 Jun 11:33
2018
@saint7628 Any genre although you've prompted me to download some TMTCH...!
Thu 21 Jun 11:33
2018
@finchypoos Ta. I've downloaded it 👍
Thu 21 Jun 10:36
2018
@LilyPrison At Wedding on Saturday so may do the same 👍😁
Thu 21 Jun 10:31
2018
Suggestions on what to listen to on Spotify on my lunch time walk?
Thu 21 Jun 10:30
2018
@JohnNicholRAF @TomCruise Do we need navigators now every plane comes fitted with a TomTom?🤔
Thu 21 Jun 07:59
2018
@cupcakejaney To be fair that’s how I did it as well. (You are right btw...!)
Wed 20 Jun 22:14
2018
@mrdanwalker I'll give an honest opinion as a viewer and that is that in comparison to other pundits he's just not… https://t.co/y5KJ0ZgESe
Wed 20 Jun 08:06
2018
@kezzzalou I won’t go into details but it’s a worthy cause that I’d like to support!
Tue 19 Jun 21:53
2018
@kezzzalou Remind me payday, I’m at my limit for sponsorship this month! 👍
Tue 19 Jun 21:37
2018
@HugoScheckter @tiff_tv Tiff Needell, Katy Perry, the bloke from American Pie and the kid from the Wonder Years?
Tue 19 Jun 21:33
2018
@SAINTSINFRANCE @lisalaatona He'll be knocking them in for Barcelona next season hopefully 😁
Tue 19 Jun 20:52
2018
@xVixxyx @Jemimaquack Awwwwwwww!
Mon 18 Jun 21:46
2018
@LilyPrison Weird. Looks ok on my iOS and Android. You and @LYCoolJ paid your colour licences?
Mon 18 Jun 21:29
2018
@LYCoolJ Did it on iOS so wonder if that’s the reason?
Mon 18 Jun 20:21
2018
@thepieman84 Thought so.
Mon 18 Jun 20:16
2018
Walker. Big nose or little head? Discuss.
Mon 18 Jun 20:07
2018
@LYCoolJ Not on my screen!
Mon 18 Jun 19:42
2018
Bottom left
Mon 18 Jun 19:34
2018
FFS. We'll lose 2-1
Mon 18 Jun 19:33
2018
Happy I ditched boot camp for this. #TUNENG
Mon 18 Jun 19:16
2018
Mon 18 Jun 19:11
2018
@MrGlennJones Do we actually need a 3rd kit this season? Not sure there’s any games we’d need one
Mon 18 Jun 19:06
2018
Come on E N G E R L A N D 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿
Mon 18 Jun 18:59
2018
Football's over for the evening and Lisa is watching Poldark so I'm going to read @IanWright0 's book to see if it's any good.
Sun 17 Jun 21:04
2018
@theJeremyVine As a cyclist I too am absolutely appalled. These arseholes would probably be the first to complain… https://t.co/9IzRuB9zx9
Sun 17 Jun 20:58
2018
Always said it, this Coutinho lad would be unbelievable if he played for a big club in the Premier League
Sun 17 Jun 19:20
2018
Interesting fact however according to ARSE this didn’t happen. https://t.co/BWVMRZl8kz
Sun 17 Jun 16:11
2018
@Motivate_Curvy I live near the other Hythe. We don’t have a beach but we have a pier!
Sun 17 Jun 10:15
2018
@58mum Best way. I broke my rule the other day and try not to engage in political debate on there but I had to corr… https://t.co/5f5dQKhx2H
Sun 17 Jun 10:03
2018
@58mum Unfortunately over on Facebook I’m seeing a lot of people who have wasted their education...
Sun 17 Jun 09:33
2018
@Mafer1ck Shed envy. https://t.co/ZMQZKarH3H
Sun 17 Jun 07:15
2018
@LYCoolJ Father in laws patio so it's sort of justified.
Sat 16 Jun 22:25
2018
@LYCoolJ Not massively, a few but none that caused me too much grief. Got to lay a patio tomorrow so I'll be shagged anyway!
Sat 16 Jun 22:22
2018
@LYCoolJ Tired. I'm very very tired after that....
Sat 16 Jun 22:15
2018
Hampshire 100 with Southampton CTC. Good ride! https://t.co/yx5zq47Yfz
Sat 16 Jun 20:45
2018
@M0O_MOO @Archangel_One Out cycling at the mo, they made me chuckle!
Sat 16 Jun 09:10
2018
@M0O_MOO I saw! Really pleased that you're developing yourself. Really hope you do well, you're a lovely nurse.
Fri 15 Jun 22:04
2018
@M0O_MOO All well here. Have pulled back a bit from social media tbh. Been busy with the biking etc. You'll meet th… https://t.co/e0dGsBvvEN
Fri 15 Jun 21:54
2018
@M0O_MOO You'll find someone. I know you will. Love the new look btw!
Fri 15 Jun 21:51
2018
She likes to spread herself out.....… https://t.co/yWhmyiBraM
Fri 15 Jun 20:53
2018
@M0O_MOO No you won't. 👍
Fri 15 Jun 20:48
2018
@DodieP1966 He also needs glasses. #squinting
Fri 15 Jun 19:52
2018
@ABZQuine I’m here if you need an ear!
Fri 15 Jun 19:43
2018
@ABZQuine Ok...I’ll turn it around. You can ask questions if you want! 👍😁
Fri 15 Jun 19:41
2018
Fri 15 Jun 19:21
2018
Fri 15 Jun 19:19
2018
@stdave59 In his 80’s. Full blown hairy motts waiting for the No 9
Fri 15 Jun 19:18
2018
@ABZQuine Ummmmmmm........... that’s asking for trouble!! 😳
Fri 15 Jun 19:17
2018
@saint7628 He was too engrossed to notice!! 😂😂
Fri 15 Jun 19:14
2018
@saint7628 Yep, I do the same loop every day. He must have been in his 80’s. He was paying very close attention to… https://t.co/AomaYVP3h2
Fri 15 Jun 19:10
2018
@finchypoos My first reaction was to get all the women on the internet to protest by sending photos of their growle… https://t.co/UgP1MpmZj4
Fri 15 Jun 19:04
2018
I walk a 4.5km loop every lunch time. It keeps my steps up & as I’m essentially a problem solver by trade it allows… https://t.co/hNJPPdyCHE
Fri 15 Jun 19:02
2018
@Abundance247 @spencerddave Nor did I! 👍
Fri 15 Jun 18:32
2018
@SaintsPoll If it’s anything like my under carriage after a bit of cycling..... https://t.co/KzeQN3MBtx
Fri 15 Jun 18:32
2018
@SaintsPoll Well I’m going to take a photo of your foo foo and you’re to blame basically. Swap ‘take a photo’ with… https://t.co/qvdLCVVgLH
Fri 15 Jun 18:28
2018
Parody account? 🤔 https://t.co/bEQ8EONUFi
Fri 15 Jun 18:25
2018
I wonder if I called it about the #saintsfc kit? 🤔 https://t.co/jFn99BbYbm
Fri 15 Jun 18:10
2018
@Roseyanny Tbh I'm amazed that it's not already illegal
Fri 15 Jun 15:21
2018
@Roseyanny This is incredible. On what grounds does he think he shouldn't happen.....?
Fri 15 Jun 15:17
2018
Oh..............................I wonder, just wonder... has someone been pulling our legs?🤔#saintsfc https://t.co/j4GSnWL5dK
Fri 15 Jun 13:16
2018
@LYCoolJ I’m cycling from Huddersfield next year by the looks of it. Probably about an extra 50 miles than last time
Thu 14 Jun 20:56
2018
@LYCoolJ Nothing worse than going around a bend on a hill only to see more hill......
Thu 14 Jun 20:55
2018
Fuck me Nigel, it's about staffing the NHS you tit! https://t.co/HRgXa93903
Thu 14 Jun 19:49
2018
@LYCoolJ Looks steep!
Thu 14 Jun 18:28
2018
@LilyPrison Did you hold up an emoji? If not, print them out onto A4 paper and only communicate using these
Thu 14 Jun 18:27
2018
@saint7628 No doubt that we could. Logistically it'd be a challenge but our Armed Forces would find a way.
Thu 14 Jun 13:54
2018
One of my ultimate favourite places to visit. Always paid my respects to the battlefield graves of the British when… https://t.co/LXOBD65fJn
Thu 14 Jun 13:33
2018
@sainttmc @SouthamptonFC @SFC_Foundation I'm up for it! 😁🚴🚴🚴
Thu 14 Jun 09:22
2018
Off to a meeting @SouthamptonFC can you let me know what the last game of the season is for the @SFC_Foundationhttps://t.co/dVzCBqYnFW
Thu 14 Jun 08:55
2018
@saint7628 Haha, cheers mate. I'd be up for it!
Thu 14 Jun 08:09
2018
@saint7628 Would prefer Newcastle tbh!
Thu 14 Jun 08:06
2018
After the #bigbikechallenge this season all I'm really interested in is #SaintsFC last game of the season....🚴🚴🚴
Thu 14 Jun 07:14
2018
I absolutely love the way Chelsea deals with bullies. Kill them with kindness. Takes a high level of emotional inte… https://t.co/blu0QbQMsJ
Wed 13 Jun 08:51
2018
The 5th Doctor? #DoctorWho https://t.co/V7BCvWgXt4
Tue 12 Jun 22:39
2018
@DodieP1966 Never ever compare yourself to anyone else other than the person you used to be or the person you want… https://t.co/WwU9Lc2OxF
Tue 12 Jun 22:34
2018
@ChrisPen2530 Sorry to hear about that mate
Tue 12 Jun 20:04
2018
@ChrisPen2530 Probably didn't help methinks. Think in longer run I'll try one game in 3. Have a heavy diary
Tue 12 Jun 19:58
2018
@ChrisPen2530 Tell me about it. Did boot camp last night and think I'm still feeling the strain from footie!
Tue 12 Jun 19:55
2018
@ChrisPen2530 Ta. I put on 3lbs after the footie so steered away from it this week.
Tue 12 Jun 19:52
2018
@kezzzalou Cheers Kerry!👍😁
Tue 12 Jun 19:51
2018
@saintpahars It's getting closer and closer! Cheers! 👍
Tue 12 Jun 19:45
2018
4.5lbs to target. #SlimmingWord So near yet so far....! https://t.co/wRU9lHCy3w
Tue 12 Jun 19:43
2018
@MrGlennJones I will laugh if this has all been a diversion!😁
Tue 12 Jun 19:13
2018
@MrGlennJones Do we know what it looks like yet?
Tue 12 Jun 18:55
2018
@Janhatesmarmite Yep. Finally..... https://t.co/FgCYTIrYwe
Tue 12 Jun 09:06
2018
@Roseyanny ....and is the TV volume on Nana level?
Tue 12 Jun 07:20
2018
@therainking_ @theJeremyVine Tax the rich!
Mon 11 Jun 22:10
2018
@BintyMustard 👀 https://t.co/UXvvWl3IDe
Mon 11 Jun 22:04
2018
@therainking_ @theJeremyVine Don't be a dick. I've recently learnt that lot of people cycle when living in the city.
Mon 11 Jun 22:02
2018
Not sure what's going on with diet but not had a poo for 3 days. Both anxious and looking forward to movement 💩
Mon 11 Jun 22:00
2018
@LilyPrison Tbh thought it may be but didn't realise that was your patch as well!
Sun 10 Jun 19:10
2018
@LilyPrison On the way to the IOW?
Sun 10 Jun 19:06
2018
@LilyPrison Boscombe?
Sun 10 Jun 19:04
2018
@StripedSaint Congratulations on making it thus far in life!👍
Sun 10 Jun 15:06
2018
@LYCoolJ I'm booked up all through the summer. Literally every weekend is a wedding, trip away or bike ride!
Sat 9 Jun 14:51
2018
@kezzzalou Not really surprising given one jumped over the moon tbh. https://t.co/zMM1Ht38am
Sat 9 Jun 13:08
2018
@LYCoolJ We did a 16% hill on the Tamworth ride. Everyone fell off!
Sat 9 Jun 13:06
2018
@joeheenan Did you escape the badgers? https://t.co/AIn0fhUl0H
Fri 8 Jun 23:50
2018
@simonfromharlow Met Shane MacGowan a couple of times at gigs whilst living in Germany. Went back stage and lost 3 days. #NotaTwat
Fri 8 Jun 19:40
2018
@cupcakejaney @saintbannerman @Saintsmadmomma @nowthemrscarter @SFC_Debs @saint7628 Permanent marker? 👀
Fri 8 Jun 17:50
2018
Fri 8 Jun 17:49
2018
@ChrisPen2530 Remind me to the count the dogs if you ever pop around
Fri 8 Jun 16:27
2018
@ChrisPen2530 Please tell me that's not a real nose....
Fri 8 Jun 16:07
2018
@simonrichards The amount of times I went there in the air force and missed all of that! 😁
Fri 8 Jun 15:58
2018
@andyofandrew I'm guessing so. Wonder how much a knee trembler costs.
Fri 8 Jun 14:02
2018
@ABZQuine That was my first thought as well.
Fri 8 Jun 13:59
2018
Having a discussion at work. Apparently there are 10 prostitutes on every corner in High Wycombe.
Fri 8 Jun 13:58
2018
@stdave59 Cool, give me a shout if you need guidance
Thu 7 Jun 20:58
2018
@stdave59 It’s the process of adding your mobile to the authentication process. Hackers may get your username and p… https://t.co/1731xy9UYp
Thu 7 Jun 20:53
2018
@EmdudsCo Probably worn by a bloke. 😂😂
Thu 7 Jun 20:44
2018
Seeing another person hacked so question my friends. Do you use 2 factor authentication on your social media accounts?
Thu 7 Jun 18:45
2018
@MissDLloyd @Apple Have you taken advice on how to secure yourself and make it harder for people to gain access to your cloud data?
Thu 7 Jun 18:44
2018
@simonrichards @SFC_Foundation Front row?
Thu 7 Jun 18:21
2018
To be honest I'm more interested in the last day.... @SFC_Foundation 🚴🚴🚴 https://t.co/AHrk3Z2CeW
Thu 7 Jun 16:21
2018
@LilyPrison See you on the M3.....🚗
Thu 7 Jun 16:19
2018
@cupcakejaney Stick a turkey on your head...!😁
Thu 7 Jun 12:27
2018
@LilyPrison Pretty much. I always park in a way that allows me to have a quick getaway.
Wed 6 Jun 13:22
2018
@LilyPrison Yes to both questions.
Wed 6 Jun 13:21
2018
@andyofandrew Yellow sauce
Wed 6 Jun 13:13
2018
@Roseyanny I see an onion.
Wed 6 Jun 08:02
2018
@LYCoolJ Big margin for major pain when you’re millimetres off the back wheel of the person in front!
Tue 5 Jun 22:47
2018
@LYCoolJ What mph does he ride on those events?
Tue 5 Jun 22:44
2018
@LYCoolJ Ta. I tend to ride defensively although on the big rides the peloton was really tight. Didn’t take much to have a twitchy bum.
Tue 5 Jun 22:42
2018
@LYCoolJ Hendy Ford have organised a few local tours, one in Fareham and one in Eastleigh
Tue 5 Jun 22:39
2018
@LYCoolJ Bike ok?
Tue 5 Jun 22:38
2018
@LilyPrison Bae or base? 😂😂😂😂
Tue 5 Jun 22:28
2018
@LilyPrison Tell him to move home closer to your base! 👍
Tue 5 Jun 22:23
2018
@LYCoolJ Ouch! Any damage? Mine will go down in a day or so, just new exercise causing it. Is that the ride run by… https://t.co/NZLDqdMl1K
Tue 5 Jun 22:22
2018
Don't completely agree with Kirstie but her replies to these are awesome and direct. Bigger things in life to argue… https://t.co/yiYtcGSVjF
Tue 5 Jun 19:55
2018
Put 3lbs on this week 👀 putting that down to swollen legs following 2 footie sessions. It's affected me more than I… https://t.co/bwTfeDmTqJ
Tue 5 Jun 19:47
2018
@JWCChristiansen If it needs telling then don't worry about approval from Twitter. I'd read though.
Tue 5 Jun 19:19
2018
@vicpolky Well done, the passive aggressive approach is always the best.
Mon 4 Jun 20:38
2018